Real Mums #13 Mumma Scribbles

I started this feature to celebrate real mums. Mums come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes we can feel alone, we can feel as though we are the only ones struggling to keep on top of things. I want to lift the lid on motherhood so we can all feel a part of sisterhood, to feel proud about our own achievements and know that we are doing the best we can!

Without further a do let me hand over to Lisa!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

Hello, I’m Lisa, 32, I have an other half called Dean, also 32 and we have one very gorgeous little boy Zachary who is 2. We also have a poorly cat and some fish and we live in our little house in Hertfordshire. We aren’t married…I’m still working at that bit!!

Describe a typical day in your life

A typical day for us is hectic! We both work full time and our childcare is a mixture of my mum and nursery. My alarm goes off at 5.45 every weekday. Once we are all ready, we leave the house around 7. Dean heads straight off to the the train station and I get in the car with Zach and drive him to wherever he needs to be. On a Monday, Wednesday and Friday he goes to my mum’s which is about a 15-20 minute drive away depending on traffic. On a Tuesday and Thursday he goes to nursery which is a 5 minute drive away although it takes about 20 minutes to get back home again! Once he’s dropped off I then have to get myself to the station. On mum days, I drive to my sisters house (about 7 minutes away) and park on her drive. She lives a 5 or so minute walk from the tube so it makes sense for me to go from there. On nursery days I drive back home and walk to the station 5 minutes away. I then commute into Southwark which involves either one train and two tubes or two tubes depending on what day it is ad where I’m travelling from!

Once I’m at work it all calms down a bit! My working hours vary; some days I do 8.30-5 and others I do 9-4.30 so I can get to nursery in time! I work in an office so I’m mostly sat at my desk but sometimes I have to travel for site visits or events which mix things up a bit.

Once the end of the day comes I have to do the lovely commute, remember what day it is and where Zach is so I make sure I do the right journey, jump in the car, pick him up and drive home. On nursery days we tend to get home about 6.15 and then on mum days we make it home about 6.40-6.45. Dean gets home about 6.20ish and then it’s a small amount of family time before we have to get Zach ready for bed. On a good day he’s asleep by 8 and we then have to do our dinner! By the time we’ve eaten, there might be a chance for us to sit and watch one of the many programmes on Sky+ or we may just be too tired, let our dinner go down while watching rubbish tv and then go to bed. Saying that, before we go to bed we have to get everything ready for the following day! We might start getting ready at 10.30 but aren’t in bed until 11. We are really hoping that Zach starts being less difficult to get to sleep so we can get some extra time back!

What is the best thing about being a mum?

The best thing is looking at this gorgeous, clever, funny boy and knowing I made him. He amazes me all the time and I often feel ridiculously lucky and privileged to have something so utterly wonderful in my life. That and when he grabs me by both cheeks, pulls me in and gives me a massive kiss. 🙂

What have you found hardest about motherhood?

The hardest thing for me is being a working mum. It tears me apart every day when I’m having to drag Zach out of bed so I can get to work on time. Even though I am a mum, I often don’t feel like one because I do it on such a part time basis. In fact, just writing this is giving me a lump in my throat because of how much of him I miss out on. I feel that as a mother I should be the one to guide him through life and I simply do not get to do this. It sucks.

How has your body changed?

I don’t think mine has changed so much that it’s noticeable. I had wobbly bits before I had Zach, then I breastfed him and lost all of my weight but while breastfeeding I ate way too much cake and so when I stopped it came piling back on. I referred to my tummy as my mummy tummy for way longer than it was actually a mummy tummy! Now it’s just a cake and biscuit tummy. I know that if I put my mind to it and get some motivation I can lose it but finding the time is extremely difficult! If you can see a gap in my typical day where I can squeee in some exercise do let me know!

Do you wear makeup? If so, what does your routine look like? 

God yes! I have to look like I’m human even if I don’t feel it. I wear make up every day, it only takes me about 7 minutes to put my face on – I’m happy to sacrifice an extra 7 minutes in bed so that I look ok! I wear face powder, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blusher and eyebrow pencil. The main focus is on my eyes…to hide the tiredness!

What’s in your handbag? 

Usually a book, purse, receipts that I don’t need, bits of paper that I don’t need, my diary, mints that are probably out of date and a range of other random stuff that I really don’t need. My bag needs a clear out! If it’s the weekend then I generally just have purse, nappies, changing mat, nappy bags and emergency little people clothes! At the time of writing, it’s winter and my keys and phone are living in my coat pocket for easy access – it can take me several minutes to hunt stuff down in my bag!

What is your relationship with housework?

I have a terrible relationship with housework! I do love a clean house but I’d much rather spend my precious weekend time with Zach rather than cleaning floors! That said, Zach does love to help with the cleaning…he’s a master of the dustpan and brush!

How do you relax?

Pah hah, relax??!! Ok, on the odd occasion we might get home on a Friday night, get Zach to bed, open a bottle of sparkly Rosé and get a takeaway. We try not to put the tv on for a while and just chat. It’s not often we just talk – there’s always so much going on!

Of course, a big bubble bath surrounded by candles with a glass of wine and a magazine would be amazing, or even better, a spa day, but it’s hard to slot that in anywhere!

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever been given?

Cuddle them. That’s it. I remember when I first had Zach and was in hospital for 3 days (c-section), he didn’t like sleeping on his own and he didn’t like being put down. The midwives told me I was making a rod for my own back and  when I told people later that we were co-sleeping just to get some sleep, when I told them he would only sleep in my arms, everyone ooooed and said that I really should stop that else he’d be like that forever! That’s complete toot! Those baby cuddles are amazing and I would do it all the same to make the most of those cuddles, because one day those cuddles stop and you suddenly have to ask them for some (often being rejected because there’s something way more fun to be doing!). So cuddle them and don’t feel bad for wanting to do so. One day those cuddles will be sparse and you will find yourself wishing for them.

For any new mums out there, what would you like to tell them?

It is bloody hard. It is the best time, but the hardest time. There will be days that you feel like you don’t know what you are doing and there’ll be days that you feel like you’ve been doing it for years. Also, you know your baby. People will dish out all sorts of ‘advice’ but you know your baby and you do what is right for the two of you. Just smile and nod at the ‘helpful’ words!!

What makes you happy?

Being with my boy. There is nothing that could make me happier than spending time with him and watching him discover. Listening to him trying to get his words across to me, watching him dancing to the song time section of Justin’s House or getting the paints out and seeing what he can paint next. He just amazes me all of the time and that makes me a happy mummy.

And finally, complete this sentence:

I am a great mum because….. I love him. I love him more than he could ever know. He is my absolute world and everything I do , I do for him. I have to work because we have a mortgage to pay and he needs food on the table and clothes on his back. I may be away from him for ten hours of the day but this doesn’t mean I love him any less than I would if I got to spend every second of the day with him. It would just be a massive bonus if I could.

Oh Lisa you had me tearing up too! You are a proper mum, of course you are! We all do our absolute best and if that means you need to work then that is just how it is. You will guide him through life as best you can and no matter what he will love you more than anything else in the whole world. xxx

If you want to find out more about Lisa and her world then head over to her blog Mumma Scribbles.

She is also on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest so go check them out!