If you have been following our story so far you will know how we met and how after a year of becoming closer and closer I told Mr F that I loved him.. only to be rejected. I went home for the summer holidays absolutely heartbroken, not knowing whether I would see him in the 2 months off or not.
I kept myself busy every day, working at Gatwick airport in their duty free department. I loved it and it really helped to take my mind off everything. It is actually one of the best jobs I have ever had- must sound silly seeing as I am a teacher and get to teach the children of our country but I loved the sense of community within the staff. We clocked in and out together and had a proper laugh every day. No pressure to meet deadlines etc, just earning money and spending it on whatever I liked.
Towards the end of the summer I got the chance to see Mr F at a mutual friend’s house. Seeing him again was amazing and it confirmed my feelings. The best thing was- he had missed me too and had split up with his girlfriend!! Now, this is where I managed to put my foot in it and ruin everything. As I lay in his arms on the sofa after a massive smooch sesh (woo hoo!) I turned to him and said “I always get my own way”. FAIL!
What I actually meant to say was “I never give up and knew I would wait for you forever” but me being the big gob I am managed to scare him right off and come across as a spoiled brat! We parted ways for the rest of the summer and I had to wait until the end of September to see him again.
The new term could not come around quick enough and I eagerly packed to return to Wales again. However, not all was as it seemed when I returned. I couldn’t put my finger on it but I knew he seemed distant. I knew he had been put off by my earlier outburst but I just thought I could try and pick up where we left off (smooching!!).
A few days in I found out why he had been so distant. He had decided to give it another go with his girlfriend. Cue heartbreak number 2. I did not take this well at all and spent the next two weeks drunk. Thankfully I had stayed in halls for the second year and so made friends with all of the first years. Every night was party night!
One particularly dark night I was so drunk I took a permanent marker and scrawled very nasty words all over Mr F’s door. You can imagine the sort…. I felt bad the next day and had to rush out and buy paint to cover it all up! He was not impressed.
As lectures began I decided to try my best to put it all behind me and accept that we would never be anything more than friends. I tried to keep my distance but it was no use. We were stuck like glue and ended up spending all of our time together once again. He was still in the ‘friend zone’ though and I couldn’t bear it. As much as it pained me I had to end our friendship, I had to let him go. I told him that we couldn’t be friends anymore as I would always want more. I walked away in tears, feeling like my whole world would end.
And that is when he told me to stop….
Come back soon for the next part of the story ‘Together at last‘
If you like my posts then why not follow me on Bloglovin’?