This feature is all about celebrating real mums. Mums are amazing and come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes we can feel alone, we can feel as though we are the only ones struggling to keep on top of things. I want to lift the lid on motherhood so we can all feel part of a sisterhood, to feel proud about our own achievements and know that we are doing the best we can!
Without further a do let me hand over to Natasha!
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.
Where to start! I’m 30 years old, married and had my 4 daughters by the age of 29. And no, no twins! I was pregnant or breast feeding for around 3 years straight. It’s all been a bit of a blur!
We have very close age gaps with our youngest 3 daughters, having a 15 month then 17 month gap between them. It has been a tough journey, and I won’t lie when I say little girl number four wasn’t a complete shock to us, but we love our crazy, busy family.
I’m an only child and pictured 2.4 children, I never imagined I would have an ‘above average’ family but I sort of think I wouldn’t of been blessed with them if I couldn’t handle it! I’m a seriel at home business starter, I’ve always got 1 million projects or ideas on the go. I’ve worked for the police and as a midwife assistant and had some great experiences, but now I’m all about trying to fit around my children.
Describe a typical day in your life
Our typical day involves getting all 5 of us up, dressed, fed and out the door by 8.15am most mornings. Im only able to do this by doing literally everything the night before. I get all their clothes, my clothes and even the hair bands and brush out, ready for the next day. A little trick of mine is to do their hair whilst they eat breakfast as it means they are sitting still!
I always try and go out for a while after school drop offs with my youngest daughter who is 16 months as she gets very cross if she gets taken back home straight away (!) so we usually go to the park/ducks or local market. Its lovely spending that time with her.
The evenings are pretty routine, I am quite a stickler for a schedule so my girls know when its time to start winding down. We do the normal washing/brushing and then they get to watch their favourite programme Mr Bean. Luckily, I love this to!
The rest of the day or the bits in-between I am totally winging it! I let the weather, the girls moods and my energy levels dictate if its going to be a play doh day or a dvd one.
What is the best thing about being a mum?
It has to be just as simple as seeing them smile. That’s all I need. To see them happy doing whatever it is that has taken their fancy. And (sorry this is very soppy) but the love! I mean, it’s just amazing to experience the type of love that comes when you have a child. It’s sole consuming, and I feel lucky I have been able to experience it. Also the idea that I can raise the girls to be whatever they want to be, to give the them ability to pursue anything.
What have you found hardest about motherhood?
Hmmm, the hardest thing I’ve found is just time for yourself. With 4, it can be very overwhelming at times, I can have 3 different children calling me, or asking me something at the same time, whilst I’m trying to change an explosive nappy and say one of the toddlers stubs a toe.
I think the toughest part though, has been dealing with so many different toddler stages all at once.
I’ve had the terrible twos and troublesome threes happening at the same time, and on top the demands of a baby and making sure I am talking and playing with my eldest daughter enough too.
It’s hard not to feel like your not dividing yourself equally, and the guilt quickly chases you, but I always try and tell myself, at least you feel that guilt, because you care. You feel it because you want to be the best you can for them.
But hey I’m a mum, so I still feel bad!
My body has changed ALOT! I’m one of those, who is quite happy in their clothes, I have finally learnt what flatters and suits me and what doesn’t. But taking those clothes off, is a whole other story!
I got my ‘world map’ as I call it after my first daughter. My round circle of stretch marks over my tummy. I never got a fresh one from any of the other 3 girls. Seriously! So I have had quite a long time to get used to them. I had my daughter at only 23 so it bothered me quite a lot back then, but 7 years on its part of me. I wont lie, I cant say I love them, I don’t see them as my ‘tiger stripes’ or scars that I earned. I see them as bloody annoying! But they don’t bother me anymore and that’s the main thing.
The other bodily bits…lets just say I always search out the ‘underwired’ section.
I’m probably more confident with my body now than pre-children ironically. But that is down to confidence in myself and actually, I quite like me! That’s a scary thing to say isn’t it?!
Do you wear make-up? If so, what does your routine look like?
Oh my makeup routine is awful. I nearly always go to bed with my makeup still on, its nearly always smeared all over my face in the morning, I never moisturise or cleanse or exfoliate. Rubbish! I do go through phases of going to Boots, buying all the toners/wipes/creams/potions going, setting myself a routine, do it for approx. 3 days, sometimes 4, then I always go back to my old habits. I’ll do it one day, honestly.
What’s in your handbag?
My handbag(s) are always full of rubbish. Used lollipop sticks, receipts, cereal bar wrappers and around 3000 hair bands. Despite me organising them the night before… I also always have at least 3 spare snacks, chewing gum, wipes, my strawberry lip balm and usually a spare plastic bag. I always find a use for one wherever I go. Try it, you’ll be amazed how you ever did without!
What is your relationship with housework?
My house and I have a ‘Ross and Rachel’ type of relationship. One minute i’m all over it like a child on Disney junior, the next im off it ike a child given sweet potatao chips instead of ‘proper’ ones. I do like to have a tidy house, it makes me more relaxed, I can switch off and focus on the girls more if I haven’t got the thought of a ton of house work hanging over my head. And it just feels nicer playing at home when it isn’t a total mess. Saying that, if im honest, ive had to ease up on it. Ive had times I have focused far too much of my time on house things when I could rather of being playing or just sat with the girls. But im pleased to say I have actually listened to my own advice and I feel much better for it.
How do you relax?
I don’t really know how I relax anymore, not I don’t know how to, but I always like to be doing something, if I stop I’ll just fall asleep! To me, relaxing is sitting down in the evening, some sort of snack, drink and rubbish tv. I would like to say a bath and candles but the truth is ive tried doing that and I just get bored after around 10 minutes. Sitting. Sitting is how I relax.
What’s the best parenting advice you have ever been given?
I think to be the most relaxed version of yourself is the best parenting advice for me personally, I have never been told it by anyone but it’s my own little mantra.
For any new mums out there, what would you like to tell them?
For any soon to be new mums, I would say don’t read the articles telling you, if you have a forward facing pushchair your child will do worse at school than a child who is parenting facing. Just don’t do it. You will find your own way. Research is great and it can help you feel more equipped. But don’t believe everything you read. I did and worked myself into a frenzy.
What makes you happy?
What makes me happy is the cliche (sorry) of my girls playing. Where I can see they are all happy in their own little imaginary worlds making up games and enjoying being together. For me though, I love taking a trip on my own, buying a hot drink, magazine and sitting on a train. All. By. Myself. To me that’s bliss. And sleep, sleep makes me happy.
And finally, complete this sentence:
I am a great mum because….. Hmmmm what makes me a good mum? I make pancakes for them nearly everyday Sunday morning, I let them eat chocolate cake for breakfast when it’s one of our birthdays. I think that makes me pretty good, in their eyes at least! I think, like most mums, that because everything I do is centred around them, it makes me pretty cool. I try my best, as much as possible and try to give as much as I possibly can to them. It’s not always 100% because I’m human! But whatever pace im running at, whether it’s the worst day ever, I’ll still always give as much of myself as possible.
I love why you are a good mum, I think being fun and relaxed is definitely the way forward. I am a little strict on my girls and sometimes I catch myself and think I need to embrace fun a bit more. Lovely learning more about you!
You can find out more about Natasha and her world over at her blog, Martha Mother
She is also on Twitter so go say hi!
If you would like to take part in my Real Mums series then email me at katy@whatkatysaid.com. x