Real Mums – A Kiwi Mumma

I started this feature to celebrate real mums. Mums are amazing and come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes we can feel alone, we can feel as though we are the only ones struggling to keep on top of things. I want to lift the lid on motherhood so we can all feel part of a sisterhood, to feel proud about our own achievements and know that we are doing the best we can!

Without further a do let me hand over to Tegan!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I’m Tegan, I’m a 25 year old stay-at-home Mum to our little girl Ella who has just turned 6 months – where did that time go? My Husband Tom is a pilot and is originally from the UK. We live on his family’s dairy farm in a beautiful, rural part of New Zealand.

Describe a typical day in your life

Generally, Ella wakes anywhere between 6.30 and 7.30am, I’ll make her a bottle and bring her into bed with me where we have cuddles and snooze for an hour or so before finally getting up. It’s then time for breakfast, she’s just started solids a month or so ago and so far she loves it, porridge is a favourite with the cold winter mornings we’ve been having recently. Then, it’s playtime she’ll roll around on her blankets playing with her toys for a bit while I do the dishes – if I get a chance that is. She normally has a nap at about 10am for about 30 – 45mins max – she’s a chronic catnapper. If it’s not a chill out day at home we’ll often go into town for coffee group or to run some errands just for a change of scenery – for my sanity as well!

The afternoons are normally chill out time, so anything goes. I try not to tie us down to a strict routine – routines tend to stress me out but she gets fed in a 3 – 4 hourly cycle and if she’s showing tired signs I’ll put her down. Our bedtime routine is the only one that I try and stick to as best as I can and If Tom is home from work, it’s Daddy time; he’ll give her a bath and her last bottle before putting her to bed. Then it’s adult time, as much as I love spending time with Ella I need my own time, I’ll cook dinner and then we’ll just relax and watch some T.V. or I’ll do a bit of blogging and spend sometime on social media.

What is the best thing about being a mum?

I love being depended on – it feeds my nurturing instinct. I love big smiles and giggles. I love seeing her discover the world around her and learn new things about herself and her capabilities. Watching her achieve new milestones – like rolling onto her tummy for the first time or sitting unassisted. There are so many things about being a Mum that I love so much.

What have you found hardest about motherhood?

Tiredness is one but I think the biggest one for me is not being able to switch off or have proper time out, for example, even when I have some time out or an afternoon off I still have to think about what I need to do, when she needs to eat and when she needs to sleep etc. It’s a never-ending cycle of “needing to be organised and on to it”, I can’t just go out or do something I have to organise a million different things first. So, in a nutshell I miss having no responsibilities. That makes me feel guilty just writing that – Mummy guilt is another one – who knew all these things came with being a Mum?

How has your body changed?

A lot, pre-pregnancy I was the fittest and most toned I’ve ever been – I was also happy with my body – fast forward to post-baby and I’ve lost almost all of the 25kgs I gained but my tummy is a stretch marked, saggy skin mess. I’m not feeling great about my body currently.

Lately, I’ve been seeing all these amazing Mum’s posting pictures of themselves post-baby and writing about how proud they are of they’re bodies – but me? I just can’t feel like that, I know my body created something amazing and I can’t explain what an amazing feeling that is but honestly? I miss how my body looked and felt before. I know it will never go back to how it used to be and don’t really mind how my tummy is but I know I’ll never feel completely happy with it. I would like to learn to love my body again and become happy in my own skin but I think that takes time. I’ve started exercising again in the hopes of toning and tightening my “problem” areas.

Do you wear makeup? If so what does your routine look like? 

I love make-up! Call me shallow or superficial but I love how it makes me feel and how confident I feel with make-up on. I am a trained make-up artist so whenever I get I chance to put make-up on I love it! On a daily basis though, if I can be bothered or if I actually have spare time, I’ll wear foundation, concealer – to hide the dark under eyes, powder, blush, mascara and I’ll do my eyebrows. On those rare nights out I’ll go the whole hog! It makes me feel more human.

What’s in your handbag? 

I don’t carry a handbag anymore – I carry a nappy bag! In it are all of Ella’s things, nappies, bottles, dummies etc and my iphone, wallet, lip-gloss and some receipts.

What is your relationship with housework?

I hate a messy house, it drives me nuts, but it’s by no way clean! I generally have very little time to clean. If I do clean it’s the important things like the dishes, the washing and a general tidy of all toys and whatever else may be lying on the floors!

How do you relax?

I had to have a think about this one. I like to blog and update my website. If Tom and I ever get some time together we love to go out for dinner or to the movies.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever been given?

Do what works for you! If you want to use a dummy then use it, if you want or need to feed formula then do it – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

For any new mums out there, what would you like to tell them?

Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself or your parenting ability, you know your baby better than anyone! If someone offers (or forces) you advice and you don’t like it or agree with it? Then smile vacantly, nod and just do what you want to do!

What makes you happy?

Going out for a good meal with my family and friends. Going horse riding with my sister-in-law. Spending time at home with my Hubby and my baby. Taking the dog for a walk along the beach. Go shopping with my Mum, my sister or my Mother-in-law. The list is endless.

And finally, complete this sentence:

I am a great mum because…..  I love her with all my heart and soul. She’s healthy, happy and achieving milestones – so, I must be doing something right! It’s funny how this was the hardest question to answer.

Always the hardest one to answer 🙂 How lovely that you live on a dairy farm!! I don’t think you are shallow at all for loving makeup, if it makes you feel good about yourself then that is a great thing! You are right too, it certainly does take time to learn to love your body, I hope you can learn to love yours again. xx

You can find out more about Tegan and her world over at her blog, A Kiwi Mumma.

 She is also on Twitter so go say hi!

If you would like to take part in my Real Mums series then email me at katy@whatkatysaid.com. x