Being a mum is hard work. You know, we know it, and all of your mum friends know it too. Very often, we run ourselves ragged taking care of the needs of our little ones, leaving very little time to focus on ourselves.
But here’s the thing.
Sometimes, we need to prioritise our own needs. This doesn’t mean we don’t care for our families at all, but we still need to carve out moments to cater to ourselves. It might be when our kids are at school or with a childminder. Or it might be when they’re asleep in bed. And sometimes, it might be when our kids are with us, as they have to know that the world doesn’t always revolve around them.
But many of us don’t take time for ourselves because we think we are being selfish. And if you’re of that opinion, know that you’re not. It’s okay to put your needs first sometimes and these are the reasons why.
#1: It’s for your own sanity
Your mental health is important. If you don’t find ways to relax and unwind, the cracks will eventually start to show. Stress will take hold of your life, depression could set in, and you will get to a point where you might find it difficult to cope. It might be that you know what we are talking about already. So, for the sake of your mental health, cut down your busy schedule, find time for self-care, and do something that will give you respite from your many demands as a mother.
#2: You deserve to treat yourself
When did you last buy something nice for yourself? It could be a dress, a pair of women’s jeans, something that matches your hobbies, or something good and tasty to eat. It could be anything that makes you happy. Chances are, you may not have treated yourself in a while. This might be because a lot of your money is spent on your child, be it on fashion, toys, video games, or on the treat foods that they enjoy. There’s nothing wrong with spending money on your kids, but you deserve to have nice things too! Apportion part of your monthly budget for yourself and buy whatever makes you feel good.
#3: Your kids need you
It’s not selfish to put yourself first because, ultimately, you are doing it for your children. Circling back to the first point on this list, if your mental health suffers in any way, you might start to struggle as a mum. You might lose your temper with your children for little to no reason, and you could give them cause to worry about you. So, remember this the next time you are catering to their every demand. Remember this when your schedule allows no room for me-time.. And then remember the point of this article: That it’s okay to put yourself first. In fact, it’s more than okay.. It’s the healthy thing to do, for your sake and for the sake of the family who loves you.
#4: You have dreams
Being a mum might be a dream come true for you. Many of us have this goal in life so it’s something to tick off your bucket list! However, what about your other dreams? Those dreams that you had when you were younger that have thus far gone unfulfilled. It’s unlikely that one of those dreams was to manage your kid’s laundry every day or to spend all of your time running them around in your car. You probably had dreams relating to your career or to your creative passions. You may have had dreams about things you want to own too.
So, think about this in between your efforts to make all of your children’s dreams come true. Find career opportunities that can sit alongside your life as a mum and make time for your creative pursuits. And start to save up for those things that will add value to your life too, including the things that you hoped to own when you were younger.
#5: Your kids will grow up and leave you
Your kids won’t be living under your roof forever (we assume). There will be a day when they go off to college, get married, and have families of their own. At that point, you might sit back in your empty nest and have no clue about what to do next. “How do I fill my time?” you might ask yourself, before ringing your kids to tell them you are coming to stay with them for a month! But if you can find time for your own needs when your kids are still at home, you can create a future for yourself.
So, as you said in the last point, you might work on your career and creative passions as you would then have something to focus on when your kids do leave home. By starting on these things early, that empty nest wouldn’t seem so empty, as you would have plenty of things to fill your time.
And so…
It is sometimes okay to put yourself first. Your life matters so you shouldn’t forget about your own needs. Yes, there will be times when you have to sacrifice your needs for your kids. But that doesn’t have to be on a 24/7 basis. Today then, think about yourself for a change and remember that you are more than a mum. You are a human being with needs of your own, so do what you can to get those needs filled.