Mummy Moments: Am I Too Strict?

The other day I was in Asda getting a few bits for dinner when the checkout assistant stopped what he was doing and told me how well behaved my girls were being. He isn’t the first stranger to stop me and I’m not going to lie, they really are well behaved … most of the time.

Friends will comment, saying they wish their kids would behave like mine. That they would sit and behave in restaurants or when walking along down the street. One mum at school recently commented that she wished she could let her son roam free like LJ instead of having to put him in the buggy.

Now before you start making a voodoo doll of me, I can assure you they actually do have bad days. There are days when I want to pull my hair out and days when I will send them up to bed early as I just need a break. But it is rare.

I think being a teacher has its advantage- I am not afraid of a bit of discipline. I do wonder sometimes though whether I am too strict, whether if I should loosen up a little. My mum is always telling me I am far too hard on them both, that they are only babies and I should be kinder. I don’t think I am unkind, I just like to run a tight ship.

You see, I believe all children need boundaries and right from the very beginning I have only ever said no when I’ve really meant it. I never shout and I always play fair. They know that when I am cross they have truly done something wrong, and that is very rare indeed.

I can only remember a couple of occasions where I have really lost my temper. One being when Little G ripped up one of her books. It was such a gorgeous pop up book and she ripped it to shreds. Afterwards though I realised it was my own fault- I had left her with a book that invited pulling and ripping. After that she only had hard books at her disposal!

This weekend saw LJ on the naughty step for the first time. I don’t use it lightly and have purposefully waited until she was old enough. At 2 years old I think that is the right age and she is certainly showing behaviour that needs to be discouraged.

I had asked her to tidy away her toys and she refused. Now that she is getting more vocal she is realising the power of her voice. She flatly told me no. I explained that I was going to count to 5 and then she was going to have to sit on the stairs. Still nothing.

The last time she broke my heart was when I let her cry it out one night. Thankfully we only ever had to do that the one time. Hearing your child cry is never nice but I don’t want her to learn bad habits. I want her to know that she needs to behave or there are consequences.

I don’t think I will have to use the naughty step many times. I think I only ever had to have Little G on it maybe 5 times and the last time was a good year ago or so. Perhaps I am too strict, perhaps I could be a little softer. But I have two very well behaved little girls who still love their mummy very much – I can’t be that bad.

Have you ever used the naughty step?