I was chatting with the lovely Sian (Quite Frankly She Said) the other day and the chat turned to the fact neither of us feel old enough to be mums. We were saying how we don’t feel any different to when we were at school. Do you feel that way sometimes?
I turn 32 in a couple of months, so am no spring chicken, and yet I feel pretty much the same as I did when I was about 14. Just the other day I was at my mum’s house, sitting on her sofa while she made me a tuna sandwich. Besides the fact I have a few (or quite a few) grey hairs and wrinkles, I could have been transported back in time to when I lived at home- I didn’t feel any different!
Of course I am a grown up- my age tells me so. My mum was in her 30s when she had me and I always looked at her as being a grown up (and a little bit old). So is that how my girls view me? Am I grown up to them? Am I old? Probably!! The other day Little G called me mummy, nothing out of the ordinary of course, but for the first time I really heard it. I am a mummy! But what makes me a mummy?
I love my children with all my heart. I think that is the main thing that makes me a mum. That overwhelming love that you feel for your children, there really is no love like it in the world. Only a mum would understand.
I put my children first, always. There are days when I don’t even have time for a shower because it took an extra hour to create an artistic masterpiece with Little G or LJ will refuse to leave my side for one second. A shower can wait, they can’t, and I don’t mind.
I am the one they run to when they are upset. I think this is one of my favourite things about being a mum- being the one they choose over everyone else. I am the one they need to make it all better and I hope that never changes.
I worry about them all the time. I am a natural worrier but my goodness, having kids makes you step it up a notch doesn’t it? I just want them to be happy and healthy always, it makes me feel sick to know I cannot control it all.
They love me unconditionally. Of course I love them, but they love me too. No matter what, they love me. That is the most amazing feeling in the world.
Whether I feel old enough to be a mum doesn’t really matter. When I became a mum to my two little girls I took on a new role, a new facet to my whole being. My girls are my entire world and I am theirs- that qualifies me for the job. I doubt I will ever feel like a real grown up, even when I am in my 80’s – age is just a number and I will still just be me, with a few more wrinkles 🙂
How about you? Do you have moments of wondering whether you are old enough?