To my baby boy,
I’ve been writing to your sisters on their birthdays for the last couple of years and will do the same for you every year too. But, I didn’t want to wait a whole year to write because there is so much I want to tell you right now. Obviously you won’t read any of them for many years to come but I need to remember these feelings too- so who else better to write to than you?
As I write this it is 1am and you are happily sucking away. I am on my phone (trying my best not to conk out from the tiredness) typing one handed, hoping my words make sense. The main thing I want to say really is that I love you. I really, really love you.
I loved you from the moment you were plopped onto my chest and you’ve made me fall in love every day since. I’m taking you all in, every last drop, and I love every bit of you. I can’t stop looking at you and am longing for you to look back. There have been moments of recognition but nothing permanent- no real signs that you can really see me. A smile will confirm that but as yet you’ve only given windy grins. 🙂
I’m just trying to wind you now actually, probably not a great idea to do that one handed haha. You never burp at night, which always means you wake up at 5am with a sore tummy. That is the hardest bit right now actually, those early starts with you being in pain. Nothing soothes you so we sit and cuddle until it finally makes its way out. By that time your sisters are awake though so it is on with the day. You are so good and never complain, just get on with it while we get ready to get your biggest sister to school.
Speaking of your sisters – they both adore you – you are one lucky boy! It is so lovely to see them with you, giving you attention for the short time you are awake. You sleep lots you see, more than they ever did anyway- something I’m not used to at all! Especially in the day, you just conk out half the time- my little sleepyhead! When you are awake though, they fuss over you and want to cuddle you all the time. You’ve been the cause of a few arguments too – they want to be the first to hold you and always want to know if the other has had an extra cuddle somewhere along the line! 🙂
I am so glad we decided to have you – I cannot even imagine life without you now, even though you are still so very new. It actually feels like you’ve been here for much more than 4 weeks – you are certainly behaving more like a baby that has been here longer! I keep telling Daddy that you are such a good baby and it is starting to drive him a bit mad now – but you are, you are such a good baby!
I was sent a whole box of these milestone cards for you – I am determined to keep up with the photos as it is the one thing that is just for you. Your sisters never had them, they had half completed baby books instead. I like these though and you’ll be able to look back at all of the photos in years to come. Same as my blog too – hopefully you will look back at these letters, at the memories I capture, and be glad that I did it. I hope so anyway.
Right, I need to stop now as I am almost falling asleep writing here and you’ve already gone to the land of nod! Hopefully you’ll sleep further than 5am today eh? Either way, whenever you do wake up I will be happy to see your little face- I really miss you when you are asleep.
Happy 4 week birthday my little prince. I love you so much!