Confidence is a funny thing, you either have it or you don’t. Except that isn’t quite true- as you may have it in one area but not in another.
You may excel in one area and come across as the most confident person in the world, and yet when you find yourself in another situation you can be reduced to a bag of nerves, legs turning to jelly!
People always tell me I come across as a really confident person. I think it is because I am a little bit loud at times. I can be confident of course, put me in front of a class of 5 year olds and I am in my element!
However, put me in a new situation such as a mother and toddler group or more recently blogging events and I am reduced to a nervous wreck! I have no confidence in my own social skills and am no good at small talk.
It takes me a long time to feel comfortable and act naturally. If I don’t get welcomed immediately then I rarely go back, who would want to repeat that situation?
A few weeks ago I was on a train to London to attend a blogger event and it suddenly struck me- I was on a train to go to a blogger event!!! Me! Little old me! I hadn’t felt nervous at all, I just hopped on the train as if it were perfectly natural to be going to such an event.
I wouldn’t know anyone there but it didn’t matter, I was going for me.
So it got me to thinking, how can we all gain our confidence?
How to increase your confidence
1. FAKE IT It is only you that knows you are shy. If you pretend to be confident then you will not only convince everyone else but you will start to believe it yourself!
2. SUPPORT Having a great support network to cheer you on will do wonders for your confidence. Whenever I feel nervous I have great friends to turn to that always give me that much needed boost. Knowing other people believe in you can make all the difference.
3. MANTRA Picture those 2 little voices in your head, the one telling you that you cannot do it and the other championing you! What does that positive voice say?
Have a little mantra that you repeat to yourself when you feel shy. When I am feeling shy I remind myself of this:
Action conquers fear.
4. GOALS People often set goals which are too high, then when they do not meet them they feel discouraged. Set mini-goals that you know are within your reach- the more goals you meet the better you will feel about yourself.
5. POSITIVITY People who think positively will attract positivity- fact! When you feel those feelings of self doubt creeping in, switch it up and change those thoughts!
Afraid of going into a new situation? Acknowledge your feelings but remind yourself that you are there for a reason- so stand tall and believe in yourself! And remember to SMILE!
6. CARE You need to learn to put yourself first for a change and look after yourself. Do your makeup, brush your hair, choose outfits that make you feel good. When you look good, you feel good.
Look after your insides too! Drink plenty of water and eat foods that are full of goodness and try to cut out some of the junk. It may well be comfort food but we all know it makes us feel worse in the longrun.
7. PREPARATION Half the time, the reason we feel bad about ourselves is because we feel as though we aren’t good enough. And why do we feel that way? Because we feel out of control in certain situations. Getting organised and being prepared helps us feel in control.
Keep a list of things to do, get into good habits and routines. Get back your sense of control and it will make you feel better about yourself and what you can achieve.
Those are just 7 little reminders to help you find your inner confidence, I hope you can try and implement at least one today. So, whack on some lippy, stand tall and know your worth!
Katy is the founder of What Katy Said and the Decluttering Motherhood Community. More than 50 thousand women follow her on social media and she has been listed in the top 5 parenting bloggers in the UK.
Read more about Katy