My Baby Days Are Coming To An End - What Katy Said

My Baby Days Are Coming To An End

He’s 4 months old. How did that happen? One minute I had a wrinkly newborn in my arms and the next I might as well have a toddler the amount he jumps around in his Jumperoo. He’s the size of a one year old too- like really, we met a one year old the other day and they were the same size!!

On the whole, I have treasured every second that he has been a part of our family. I haven’t minded the sleepless nights or the times when nothing but boob would settle him as I know he is our last baby. I know from going through it all twice before that those newborn days fly by and they really have. So instead of wishing those sleepless nights away I have held on to them, embraced them, knowing it wouldn’t be long before my wrinkly newborn baby would be gone.

And he has. 

I am not ready for the baby stage to be over. I’m just not. I’m not ready to say goodbye to those sleepy snuggles. I want to sit and stare at him for hours and hours, taking every bit of him in. He is my final baby and I want his baby stage to last and last, to feed that longing that I felt for a baby, to satisfy that need as I won’t get the opportunity again.

4 months old

Unfortunately he has other plans. He is already rolling over, trying to sit and bouncing around strengthening his legs. He hates to be still, always wanting to search for his sisters to see what they are up to. He’ll be walking by 9 months just like they did and then my baby will be lost to toddlerhood. That’s 5 months away- only a little over the time he’s already been here.

DSC_0063

He’s almost grown out of his pram and although he still fits in it, he hates to lie down and is constantly shuffling and trying to lift his head up. I longed to be able to push a baby around in a pram but I think it is time to swap it for a pushchair. Am I ridiculous for feeling distraught about that?

The only time he becomes my baby is when I feed him, then it is just the two of us and he snuggles up to me like a newborn again. I love those moments, even when it is 4 in the morning, and I will be sad when that job doesn’t solely fall to me anymore.

I’ve put a timeframe on my breastfeeding journey. Or rather I had, I’d said I would stop at 6 months as I was struggling with not being able to eat whatever I want. But that is only 2 months away and I am not entirely sure I will be ready to stop then because that will be it, my sleepy milky cuddles over.

I can’t even combi-feed as I will be limited diet-wise even with one breastfeed a day. So if the reason I am to give up is to eat what I want then I give up for good. I don’t really know how I feel about that. I think I might have to be dairy free for a little longer.

will 4 mon old

As I type this he is asleep on my lap after a day of interrupted nap-times. There would have been a time that I would have tried to move him, tried to pass him over to someone else so I could have some time on my own. But not this time. One day he won’t fall asleep on me anymore and so I am sitting here staring at him as he snuffles away with his blocked nose, typing with one hand while he is cradled by the other.

My baby boy isn’t so much of a baby anymore and I don’t quite know how to deal with it. I most certainly won’t be having another one now and so that’s it, my baby days are already coming to a close. I could honestly cry.

my sig 2016

8 Comments

  • Reply
    Rosie @ Little Fish
    January 8, 2017 at 6:27 am

    Aw, this is lovely Katy. He’s such a sweetheart – keep treasuring every moment, just as you are. I can’t believe my baby is coming up to 1 now – definitely in denial about that! xx

    • Reply
      Katy
      January 8, 2017 at 9:47 pm

      I absolutely cannot believe she will be 1! She was only born a minute ago!! x

  • Reply
    Donna
    January 8, 2017 at 11:53 am

    I can’t quite believe he is 4 months old already. Wow. That really has flown by – such a gorgeous boy x

    • Reply
      Katy
      January 8, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      It really has flown!! I want it to stop for a bit! x

  • Reply
    Abigail Bryony
    January 8, 2017 at 1:16 pm

    This post made me so emotional <3 It's exactly how I feel about my little boy. He's probably our last and he's 1 in a couple of weeks and I just WISH that baby stage could have stayed a bit longer :(( Beautiful post xx

    • Reply
      Katy
      January 8, 2017 at 9:50 pm

      It just goes too quickly doesn’t it? It isn’t fair xx

  • Reply
    A Mum Track Mind
    January 8, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    I remember thinking the same thing about Sophie. I still do and she’s just turned one this week! I just want to hold on to her tiny babyness – maybe something to do with her being my last x

    • Reply
      Katy
      January 11, 2017 at 8:32 am

      Definitely due to being the last. I didn’t feel it with Lily so deep down I must have known I’d have another x

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