Mums come in all shapes and sizes, no one mum is the same as another. I have really enjoyed reading about real mums in my weekly feature and by the response it has received it seems you enjoy reading about other mums too.
What about you? Are you a good mum? It is a question I ask of myself daily, sometimes I feel like I have all my plates spinning well and other days I feel as though I am surrounded by chaos! Doing the school run every day or going to mummy groups has made me look at other mums and wonder what sort of mum they are. Some look so put together, so on top of it all, some look as dishevelled as me! So what type of mum are you?
The Young Mum-
You have had your children young, people assume you must have got pregnant by mistake, maybe you did- does that matter? People stare at you, make you feel insecure about your abilities to parent your children. You doubt yourself constantly. However, you do what is best for your children, you work hard and give them everything they need. Age is a number, you are an amazing mum.
The Single Mum-
You worry you are not doing everything you need to be doing for your kids. You feel as though they are missing out on having a dad at home. You think that people look at you and say you are a bad mum. What you don’t know is that you are a super mum and a super dad rolled into one. You do all of the jobs without a break. You have our utmost respect. You are an amazing mum.
The Glamorous Mum-
You make the best of yourself, put on your makeup without fail and always have the best clothes. People assume you must neglect your children to look so wonderful every day- ‘where is the snot on your shoulder?’ they cry! You make the effort because it makes you feel good. What they don’t know is you get up an hour early just to make that effort, you wiped the snot off your shoulder before you left the house after hugging your baby tight. You are an amazing mum.
The Stressed Out Mum-
You are the one with the buggy that tips over and eggs smash on the pavement. You are the one who’s child screams the place down, making you wish the earth would swallow you whole. There is washing piling up and you haven’t brushed your hair in days. You feel like everyone else watches you and judges you, thinking you are a terrible mum. Truth is, we all have those days. You are stressed because you do so much, you have taken on the role of mother, wife, homemaker, cleaner… the list goes on. You do a great job, your children are fed and they are happy. You are an amazing mum.
The older mum-
You have worked hard to build up your career and are now having your children. You go to the school gates only to find everyone is younger than you, they leave you out. You go home in tears wondering what you did wrong, why did you leave it so late? You are a wonderful person, they are the ones missing out. You have so much love to give and your children love you, there are kind mums waiting to get to know you, I promise. You love your children and you are there for them when they need you. You are an amazing mum.
The Stay at Home Mum-
You have chosen to stay at home with your children, you have given up the career you once had to be there to wipe the tears from their eyes. You do the crafts, play with dolls and take them to the park, it is great. But then there is the loneliness, the day to day drudgery of it all. It isn’t all playdates and soft play trips, it is washing and cleaning and endless picking up of toys. People ask you what you do all day and you want to scream! You feel guilty for feeling this way. Remind yourself why you chose this, you are doing what is best for your family now, you are an amazing mum.
The Mum of Many-
You have 3, 4, 5, 6 kids and counting. People look at you as though you must be mad, how can you possibly look after so many children? Some call you irresponsible and make you feel bad for the choices you have made. However, you work hard and each and every one of your children are happy, that is what is important. You love them all and wouldn’t change a thing about the size of your family. You are an amazing mum.
The Working Mum-
You go to work 5 days a week and your children go to nursery. You feel like a terrible mother when you see that others choose to stay at home. Should you be there every day to play with them, to be there for their first steps? You are doing the very best you can, you are providing for your family and that is something you should never apologise for. Your children love you, you are their mummy and they run to you at the end of each day to give you a big hug. You are an amazing mum.
The Unfriendly Mum-
You don’t approach others at groups, you walk away when someone talks to you. They go home and wonder what they did wrong to upset you. You are sorry, you have something going on at home. You are not unfriendly, you are unhappy. You wish you had more friends but you are too shy to speak to people. Something went wrong at work, you went to the school gates wearing a frown. You are sorry. Please don’t apologise, people want to know you, let them in. You are an amazing mum.
It doesn’t matter what type of mum you are, we are all mums and we need to stand together. We all do our best for our children, we all want them to be healthy and happy. We need to learn to accept others for who they are, not who we think they are- we are all amazing and that includes you.