I have had 2 children and am pregnant with my 3rd right now. You would think that after going through it twice before, my husband would know how to help and support me through this time. It seems that is a big assumption on my part and most days I feel as though I am talking to a brick wall!
I don’t for one minute think it is deliberate, he just doesn’t seem to grasp the huge task I am undertaking here. I don’t think it helps that often women will appear strong on the outside, fooling everyone into thinking they are coping when really they are a crumbling mess underneath.
So if your partner is pregnant right now, here are a few ways you can support her on this journey.
Be Kind
This might sound really simple but kindness goes a long way. She is dealing with enough without you being mean. You may not even realise the impact your words have but a sensitive hormonal woman will definitely take them to heart.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Tell her you love her often and compliment her too. She won’t accept these compliments of course but secretly she will love it and it will make her feel better about herself.
Be Understanding
Throughout my pregnancy I have been so forgetful! If it isn’t written down then it just doesn’t get done. This has included not making dinner on some occasions – ridiculous I know but seriously, baby brain is a thing! Don’t get annoyed – understand that she isn’t herself, she is housing and growing a human being! Similarly, when she is just a little bit irrational just go with it. She isn’t herself and just needs you to nod and smile and know that it is the hormones doing the talking.
Do Your Share … and more…
I am assuming that you do your fair share around the house already (and if you don’t then why not?). But when she is feeling sick or just too big to bend over, take some of the load off. Yes you may be exhausted but she is exhausted too – even sitting down is exhausting when you’ve not slept in a month! Don’t get frustrated when she is sitting around ‘doing nothing’, just accept that if she could then the would be doing more.
Listen
Women like to share the load when it comes to emotions and pregnancy emotions are no different. You may have heard her say it a million times but when she says she is tired and has had enough, nod and smile and give her a cuddle. She doesn’t want or need you to fix it, just to listen and be there for her. Send her a text in the day, just asking how she is doing – I promise she will really appreciate it.
Be There
Thinking about going for a night out? Really? How about suggesting a date night watching her favourite movies? To see your husband galavanting off having fun with mates while you are at home with swollen ankles just makes you want to change the locks on the doors (maybe that is just me….). Understand that this doesn’t last forever and that your mates come second compared to your partner – the one carrying your child!
So there we have it, just a few tips from one hormonal pregnant lady, to you – the partner of an equally hormonal pregnant lady. There are so many things to consider from conception to birth, it is a life changing experience and one that needs love and support to get you through.
You are that person to do that job so step up and be the best partner you can possibly be. I promise you that on the day you hold your baby, you’ll look at the amazing woman in front of you and you will wish you had been better, done more to help. Don’t wait until that day – start now.
