Times Are Changing

As I watch my little girl walk along the path on her way to pre-school I can’t help but feel sad. She is so independent, so confident in her own abilities now. She has been going to ‘big girl school’ as she calls it for 2 terms now and is thriving. I am proud of her of course I am, but somewhere deep inside I just want to scream- stop growing! Stop changing!

In a few months she will join the education system for real, she will be going 5 days a week, wearing a uniform and spending her time away from home, away from me. Since the day she was born we have been inseparable, I have barely left her side. I couldn’t, I would miss her too much. But this is forced, there is no backing out- she has to go.

I am frightened by it all, I have never liked change and this time the change is a big one. No more days at home together, no more lazy days on the sofa, no more mummy and baby time. She will be at school and I will be at home. I won’t be on my own of course, but that makes it worse. I will be enjoying time with her sister, without her. Will she care? Will she feel betrayed?

It doesn’t seem a minute since she was her sister’s age, the fun we used to have just the two of us.

I know I have to be brave, be all smiles for her so that she doesn’t see the sorrow behind my eyes. I want her to enjoy school and skip into her class each morning. I want her to love her teacher and come home full of stories of friends, fun and all the things she has learnt that day. But inside I will be yearning for my baby, for that precious time back again.

Others will tell you not to take for granted the little things, not to wish the days away. ‘This too shall pass’ and indeed it does. These days I am happy when she wants an extra story, I am glad when she wants to come for cuddles in my bed, the days she is poorly and we have duvet days- they are just the most precious of times.

Time goes so fast, we can’t slow it down but we can live in every moment and embrace life with both hands. My baby is growing up quickly but I am going to enjoy every second of the now before that too becomes a distant memory.