If you had asked me what I thought about my body 20 years ago I would have told you, as an 11 year old, that I hated my body.
I have always been overweight and as a child I was acutely aware of the fact I was ‘different’ to my friends.
By the time I was 15 I became obsessed with my looks. I would stare at myself in the mirror at any opportunity to scrutinise my body.
I knew every lump and bump and wished that I could hack away at the fat with a knife. I wished with every ounce of my being that I could be someone else.
I stopped eating.
I look back at photos of myself and I could cry, I see now that I was thin, but at the time I felt as big as a house.
The sad thing is, nobody noticed. Nobody noticed and I just got thinner and thinner.
If you ask me today what I think about my body I will tell you straight- I love my body. My body has housed 2 beautiful babies, my body has walked down the aisle to my best friend, my body keeps me alive and I am grateful every day.
I am my daughters’ role model, I am the person they look up to and want to be. I have to teach them, through my own actions, to love their bodies and be proud of who they are.
I never want them to look in the mirror and hate themselves.
I will never tell them I am on a diet, I will not even use that word. I know now that fad diets do not work, losing weight is a hard road and it takes dedication to a healthy way of life.
I am overweight, I am losing it though exercise and good cooking- they don’t even realise I have made a change. They just see their mummy looking and feeling great- that is the message I want them to see.
Yesterday I read this inspiring post and it made me take a long hard look in the mirror. As I stood there looking at my whole body I made a mental note of 5 positive things that I liked about myself.
1. MY LEGS Without scrutinising them for cellulite I actually have a good pair of legs. They are a nice shape and I like to show them off with a pair of heels.
2. MY COLLARBONE I have sticky out bones and I love them, I always feel a bit sexy when they are on display.
3. MY HAIR So long now, Little G says I am a brunette Rapunzel. It has taken me by surprise as I mostly wear it in a ponytail but I am loving how long it is. I must remember to make more of an effort to style it with my new hair piece!
4. MY EYES I love my eyes, they are particularly green at the moment (they go brown in winter) and wearing my favourite new blue dress really brings out their colour.
5. MY WRISTS Bit of a weird one but I really like my wrists, they are very delicate and I love to wear bracelets to draw attention to them.
I could have quite easily chosen to see the negatives about my body but yesterday was different, I chose to see the positives and it made me happy.
I am lucky to have my body, it has given me the two most precious things in my life and I need to start treating it with more respect.
I want you to look in the mirror and see yourself positively- what 5 things do you like? Your body is amazing, start believing it today!
HonestMum
Tuesday 21st of July 2015
I love this post darling, I didn't have the best body image from 11 until I met my husband really, far too tough on myself, I love the challenge of writing about the things I like about myself. Love that your eyes change colour and I have to say you really do not look overweight at all to me, you look fabulous xx
Katy
Tuesday 21st of July 2015
Aww thanks hun, I have lost quite a bit in the last few months, not even through trying I just seem to be trimmer in my old age haha!! xx
Kelly-Marie
Wednesday 1st of July 2015
I am my own worst enemy, growing up I hated everything about myself, I got picked on for having no breast pretty much and so they were my biggest problem. I hated my pregnancy stretch marks (still do some days). Reaching 26 I seem to have changed, I don't know what it is maybe because I have become very satisfied with life the way it is, I have everything I need and my son and husband love me for me. So no I don't wear make anymore (which means I don't get spots anymore) and I generally feel comfortable now. I even feel healthier for it. Everyone should definitely do this, everyone has lots to love about themselves x
Katy
Tuesday 14th of July 2015
Good for you!! I think as we get older we care that little bit less as we accept who we are. Women are dreadful for judging themselves though aren't they? x
Urban mumble
Monday 1st of June 2015
Hi Katy! Such a well written post form you. I think the way we mums talk about our bodies in front of our daughters has a huge impact on how our daughters learn to view themselves. If we talk negatively about our physique they may learn to do the same thing. Our thoughts become our reality even if the objective truth is something else. In the mean time, our children copy us when it comes to diet (in the sense of nutrition) and exercise habits. I do get annoyed by how people try to justify their unhealthy habits with the "accept yourself as you are" excuse. To truly love your body means to take good care of it.
Katy
Sunday 7th of June 2015
Definitely, fine accept who you are but look after yourself while you are doing it. I accept my body in the sense I don't moan I am overweight in front of the girls but I am striving for a healthier body as I want to lead by example x
Charlotte @ Educating Elsa
Monday 4th of May 2015
This is such a great post Katy! I hate my body but when I sit and think about it there are areas that I don't mind as much (pretty much the same ones as you actually, minus the legs) and I should try to focus more on the positives. I keep trying to eat better too but I find it quite hard, especially on days when Elsa is with her dad and I'm on my own. I usually end up eating takeaway :( It needs to stop!
Katy
Tuesday 5th of May 2015
When I am on my own I am rubbish at cooking but usually eat beans on toast which isn't so bad! Ha! xx
Beth Twinderelmo
Friday 1st of May 2015
Thank you SO much for sending me the link to this. I forget that my body carried twins to full term & had a combined weight of 13lb1!!!! I hate on it far too much and need to take stock of what an amazing thing it has done. I will never be pre-twin body and thank you for pointing out that I will be these girls role models. They need a positive influence not one moaning after eating something. I am taking steps to do something because I don't want to be so negative and so down Xxxxx
Katy
Saturday 2nd of May 2015
I tweeted you after reading this last night so you know I cried! To carry twins is such an achievement- YOU did that, YOUR body. Look in the mirror today and find 5 things you like, or see positives about those negatives i.e stretchmarks are signs of a successful pregnancy etc. The more you do it the happier you will feel x