Inside: Six common divorce mistakes couples make. Collaborative post.
As many know, divorce can be an overwhelming and upsetting process. Most people who go through a divorce will be experiencing it for the first time, which is why it can be so confusing and you may feel like you’re navigating unknown pitfalls.
Listed below are six common mistakes couples can make during a divorce.
Lack of financial planning
It’s no use to yourself, your ex-partner or your solicitor to say you want X% amount of the assets if you have no idea what this will be on a practical level.
You should ideally be working with a specialist family law solicitor and a professional financial planner so you know what your desired percentages equate to in real legal terms. You should also plan carefully during this period and take the time to go over everything to make sure it is correct and in line with your legal rights.
Remarrying before finances have been resolved
You should be aware that new relationships can complicate ongoing divorce procedures. If you are remarrying without a financial order, then you may actually lose your right to get one. A financial order is a type of Court Order which details how you and your ex-spouse will deal with your finances upon a divorce.
Instead, applications would need to be made under the “trust of Land Appointment of Trustees Act 1996”, which is far stricter and gives the court far less discretion. However, pension claims can still be made after remarrying.
Explicitly discussing your divorce with your children
Although your relationship may have ended, you will both remain the childrens’ parents. It’s important to remember young children don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with complex adult issues such as divorce and separation.
Many parents believe that their children should know the full “truth” as to why the divorce happened. However, this can be extremely damaging and backfire, which may result in them favouring one parent over the other. You should reassure your children that it is okay for them to have an equal relationship with both parents.
Thinking you will be able to change your ex-partner
If your ex-partner is unresponsive, difficult to talk to and unreasonable there is no point trying to change their behaviour, or hoping that the court will change them either.
Instead, you need to focus on your own efforts, and work with your solicitor on your own needs during the divorce. You could also work with a divorce coach to manage how you respond to your partners behaviour.
Taking legal advice from friends and family
Whilst your friends and family may have good intentions at heart and may have been through a divorce themselves, they were not with your ex-spouse and are not going through your divorce either.
Your friends and family should be there as your emotional support system, but the only person you should be taking legal advice from is the professionals you’ve hired.
Doing everything yourself
Getting a divorce can be a complex and technical process, which can be hard to deal with by yourself. At the very least, you should be getting legal advice at the start of the divorce process.
You need to be clear on your options and expectations before reaching any agreements and signing of documents.
Going through a divorce is never going to be easy, however as long as you receive the correct legal advice and have a strong support system, you will be able to find brighter days ahead.
Remember the best thing you can do is align yourself with your legal rights and follow advice from your hired professionals.