Inside: How Do I Balance My Own Self-Care While Keeping Up With Household Responsibilities?
Between the never-ending laundry, cooking, school runs, and the myriad of other responsibilities that come with running a household, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs.
Self-care, in theory, sounds like something we all know we should do, but when you’re in the thick of things, it often feels like one more item on an already long to-do list.
I’ve been there (I am there, most days), and I know it can feel like there’s just no time to prioritise yourself. But here’s the thing: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes, and when you invest in your own well-being, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re becoming a better, more present parent and partner.
If you’ve ever wondered how to strike that elusive balance between self-care and household responsibilities, you’re not alone. Here’s what’s worked for me, and I hope some of these tips will help you too.
Reframe Self-Care as Non-Negotiable
One of the biggest hurdles for me was shifting my mindset. I used to think of self-care as a luxury—something to squeeze in if I magically found extra time (spoiler: I never did). But here’s the truth: self-care is just as important as cooking dinner or getting the kids to bed on time. It’s not about pampering yourself; it’s about maintaining your physical, mental, and emotional health so you can keep showing up for your family.
Start by recognising that you deserve care just as much as anyone else in your household. Once I began seeing self-care as a priority rather than an afterthought, it became easier to make time for it, even on busy days.
Find Your “Small Pockets” of Time
We don’t always have the luxury of a full afternoon to ourselves (though wouldn’t that be dreamy?). But self-care doesn’t have to be a grand affair. Sometimes, it’s about finding those little moments where you can pause and recharge.
- Morning Resets: Wake up 15–20 minutes before the rest of the household. Use that time for something that centers you—journaling, stretching, or simply enjoying your coffee in peace.
- Mindful Breaks: Take five minutes during the day to step outside, breathe deeply, or listen to your favourite song. Those tiny pauses can help reset your mind.
- Evening Wind-Downs: After the kids are in bed, resist the urge to dive straight into chores. Light a candle, read a chapter of a book, or enjoy a quiet cup of tea.
Delegate, Delegate, Delegate
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we have to do everything ourselves, but let me tell you: you don’t. Delegation has been a game-changer in my household.
- Get the Kids Involved: Even young children can pitch in with simple tasks like tidying up their toys or setting the table. It not only lightens your load but also teaches them responsibility.
- Share the Load with Your Partner: If you have a partner, have an honest conversation about sharing household responsibilities. It’s not about assigning blame; it’s about working as a team to create a more balanced dynamic.
- Outsource When Possible: If your budget allows, consider outsourcing tasks like deep cleaning or grocery delivery. Sometimes, spending a little to free up time for yourself is well worth it.
Set Realistic Expectations
Here’s a hard truth I had to learn: I can’t do it all, and that’s okay. Trying to be a supermum who keeps a spotless house, cooks gourmet meals, and attends every school event is not sustainable (or necessary).
Give yourself permission to let some things slide. The laundry can wait another day, or dinner can be something quick and simple. When you let go of perfectionism, you free up mental and emotional energy for what truly matters.
Create a Weekly Plan (That Includes YOU)
I’m not a natural planner, but I’ve found that having a weekly schedule makes life feel a lot more manageable. On Sundays, I take 10–15 minutes to map out the week ahead, and here’s the key: I include my self-care in the plan.
Whether it’s a workout, a coffee date with a friend, or even just a long shower without interruptions, I pencil it in like any other appointment. When it’s written down, I’m more likely to stick to it.
Learn to Say No
One of the most liberating lessons I’ve learned is that it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to bake three dozen cupcakes for the school fundraiser or host every family gathering. Saying no to things that don’t align with your priorities creates space for the things that do—including your self-care.
Practice setting boundaries with kindness but firmness. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, it becomes easier, and the people around you will respect your limits.
Incorporate Self-Care Into Everyday Tasks
Sometimes, it’s not about carving out extra time but about making ordinary moments feel a bit more special.
- Turn on a podcast or audiobook while folding laundry.
- Play your favourite music while cooking.
- Use a luxurious hand cream or aromatherapy oils to elevate your hand-washing routine.
These small tweaks can make even mundane tasks feel more enjoyable.
Build a Support System
You don’t have to do this alone. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your need for balance. Whether it’s family, friends, or a local mum group, having a support system can make a world of difference.
Sometimes, self-care means reaching out and saying, “I need help.” It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.
Check in With Yourself Regularly
Life changes, and so do our needs. Make it a habit to check in with yourself every now and then. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are there certain responsibilities you could reprioritise?
I’ve found that a quick mental check-in at the end of the week helps me identify areas where I need more support or adjustments. It’s a way of staying proactive about my well-being.
Give Yourself Grace
Finally, remember this: you’re doing an incredible job. Some days will feel more balanced than others, and that’s okay. Self-care isn’t about being perfect; it’s about making progress. On the tough days, remind yourself that you’re only human and that every small step you take toward caring for yourself counts.
Balancing self-care with household responsibilities is an ongoing journey. It’s not about finding a perfect formula but about discovering what works for you and your family. Be kind to yourself, celebrate your wins (no matter how small), and know that you’re not alone in this.
We mums often put everyone else first, but it’s so important to remember that our well-being matters too. You’re not just a mum—you’re a person with needs, dreams, and a whole lot of love to give. Take care of yourself, because you deserve it.