Inside: Creating a Supportive Home Environment After Rehab: Tips for Families. Collaborative post.
With your loved one getting ready to leave rehab, you’re bound to wonder how your home environment will affect them.
While most rehab patients struggle with this transition, having a supportive environment can help them access the tools they need to stay sober.
Understanding the Transition Home
You may have thought that the hardest time for your loved one was when they were admitted into rehab, but for many patients, the biggest challenge is adjusting to life after rehab.
The transition home can be incredibly intimidating. Inpatients are often used to 24/7 supervision, daily therapy, a strong sense of community, a solid routine, and clear boundaries. When they return home, there’s no institution reinforcing this.
Home life is more unpredictable. Routines can differ, priorities can shift, and ultimately, loved ones can’t replicate the specific type of support delivered through professional intervention.
Even in highly supportive families, people in recovery can struggle to settle back into their home environment. As their brain and body continue to adjust to sobriety, they may feel more emotionally sensitive than normal, and their confidence may be fragile.
This is all completely normal. Expect it and prepare for it. It’s simply another stage in your loved one’s recovery, and if they had the strength to get sober, they have the strength to get through this. Crucially, your support will be vital.
Taking Care of Yourself
First, let’s discuss how you can take care of your own needs.
Even though your loved one requires more attention and support at this time, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
If you’re feeling extra emotional at this time, it’s completely normal. Feeling resentful, angry, upset and anxious are all common for family members in this situation. Allow yourself to sit with those emotions, but if you sense you’re close to burning out, it’s time to seek professional support.
Aside from therapy (which we would always recommend), getting proactive about your own needs might look like:
● Speaking to other loved ones about your feelings
● Setting aside “me time” every day or week
● Revisiting old hobbies
● Attending family support groups
● Exercising
● Journaling
● Getting enough sleep
● Maintaining a balanced diet
Removing Triggers in the Home
Temptation is extremely strong in early recovery. Your loved one may be dealing with strong cravings, and even after a successful rehab stay, temptation can get the better of anyone.
This is why it’s important to remove triggers in your home. If you can, consider:
● Locking away or getting rid of any alcohol
● Keeping a clean, calm home environment (perfect homes aren’t necessary!)
● Attending family therapy with your loved one
● Asking others not to drink in your home
Sometimes, family members can feel like they’re walking on eggshells around their loved one. This isn’t the point of removing triggers.
You aren’t responsible for your family member’s recovery, but taking triggers away can give them the extra support they need to stay sober in the early days. Often, these drastic measures can be reduced later on, when your loved one feels more stable in their recovery.
Creating Structure
You can’t compete with the high level of structure at rehab, so don’t feel pressured to. There are simple ways you can create or maintain some structure in your home life, to show your loved one that they can rely on family stability.
Consider:
● Choosing specific days and times to spend quality time together, and sticking to this
● Modelling a healthy routine, such as a fixed sleep routine, or healthy eating habits
● Putting your weekly plans on a family calendar
● Having other family members on standby when you can’t be with your loved one
● Eating meals together regularly
Encouraging Open Communication
With open communication, you can address and solve any problems as you go, which gives you opportunities to revise your approach.
Your loved one might not always feel comfortable opening up, so you may want to regularly check in with them and encourage them to share how they’re feeling. Active listening works best here, instead of trying to solve every problem immediately.
Sometimes, family members feel as though checking in is pointless. Their loved one might have criticised their attempts to connect, so they may have decided that distance is the best way.
In this case, consider whether your attempts have landed more like interrogations. If so, alter your approach by prioritising gentle check-ins, and giving healthy distance, instead of constantly searching for information.
Criticism may come regardless, and this is normal. Emotions are running high for everyone involved, so give each other some space, but most importantly, make it clear that your door is open for your loved one.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
Just because the situation is sensitive doesn’t mean you can’t set some clear boundaries and house rules. In fact, it’s vital to do so, to prevent misunderstandings or dangerous scenarios.
It’s wise to agree on shared tasks, so everyone is pulling their weight and feels a sense of responsibility for the running of the household. House rules are also beneficial, whether it’s not drinking in the house or not inviting others into the house without asking one another.
For some families, it feels natural to want to cover up the loved one’s addiction. This is a form of enabling, as it helps the person with addiction to escape the consequences of their substance use. It’s incredibly dangerous, but very common. If it’s something you relate to, family therapy can help you to work on letting go of responsibility and setting healthy boundaries.
Looking for Warning Signs
It can be tricky to identify the signs of relapse, but if you familiarise yourself with common signs, it will become clearer.
Look for:
● Sudden emotional withdrawal
● More time spent outside the home (especially with old friends)
● Doubts about sobriety
● Financial issues
● Glamorisation of addiction
● Social isolation
It’s important to stay as calm as possible if you see some of these signs. It doesn’t necessarily mean your loved one is going to relapse.
Take these signs as information that the risk is higher than usual, and work out what you can do to help lower that risk, which should always include open communication without judgement.
Keep in mind that one of the most common reasons for relapse is a lack of positive environmental contingencies, including job, responsibilities, and family. Just by providing support to your loved one, you’re ensuring they have at least one positive environmental contingency, which could significantly lower their relapse risk.
Celebrating Progress
Challenges aside, recovery is a huge achievement. Recognising your loved one’s emotional growth can boost their motivation to stay sober, as well as improving their self-esteem.
It isn’t just about the big milestones, either. One year of sobriety is of course something to celebrate, but so is spending time with new friends who are supportive of sobriety, or going to the gym for the first time.
It’s these small steps that slowly build healthy habits, and make a lifetime of sobriety seem possible!
People in recovery don’t need to come back to a perfect home. It’s not about gleaming countertops or romanticised conversations. There are small steps you can take to create a supportive home environment for your loved one.
With the help of our tips, we hope you can make a start on building a safe, stable family home that withstands the ups and downs of recovery.