One of the hardest decisions a mum has to make is whether to return to work after having a baby. Soon after maternity leave begins we find ourselves wondering what to do for the best- do we become a stay at home mummy or find childcare? How would we cope? What childcare is best? Before you know it your maternity leave is coming to an end. What do you do?
I always knew I wanted to have a career. It took me a long time to realise what my passion was (although my mum says she knew all along that I would be a teacher). I worked hard at school, went to college and then on to university where I got my degree in Zoology (i’ll explain why another day haha) and then went on to get my teaching qualification.
I loved my job, it was my life. Every day I would wake up and look forward to seeing those 30 little faces in my class. Every day was something new, I loved watching them learn, seeing them achieve. Teaching is hard work but I thrived on it.
In 2011 I fell pregnant with Little G. The moment I saw those words ‘Pregnant 2-3 weeks’ I knew my life would never be the same. I had always wanted to be married with children and now that dream was becoming a reality.
My maternity leave officially started in September but being a teacher meant I also got the summer holidays thrown in for free. So, at the end of term I waved goodbye to my class, to my colleagues and off I went! As everyone else had left for the holidays it didn’t really sink in until the September. I stayed at home while they all returned to school to meet their new classes. I did miss it, I missed the routine, the structure. I had swapped it all for lounging on the sofa- I was bored stiff!
Little G was born at the end of September and I loved her immediately. I swear for the first month I just sat and stared at her. She was so perfect and I had made her! She was mine!
The next few months flew by far too quickly. We had our first Christmas together as a little family and suddenly it was 2012 and I would be going back to work in a few months. Cue a total breakdown!
How could I leave her? I couldn’t! I cried and cried for a week. I couldn’t see a way around it.
After a long discussion we finally found a way around it and when Little G was 9 months old I handed in my notice.
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| How could I leave her? |
I have been a stay at home mummy for nearly 3 years if you include my maternity leave. When people ask me what I do I am now proud to say “I stay at home with my girls”. This has been a recent development. I’d say up until maybe 4 months ago I would reply “Oh.. I used to be a teacher.. I’m at home at the moment.. I plan to go back…” I didn’t even realise it at the time but I guess I was a bit embarrassed. That is not to say I didn’t love being home with my girls but I didn’t like all the housework and felt my days just slipped by without achieving anything.
It was only after reading / watching the Anthea Turner series (don’t judge me I love her! Read about how to be a ‘perfect housewife’ here to see why!) and she said that being a housewife is a job. I had never really thought about it that way. For the first time since leaving my job as a teacher I decided to embrace my new job as a housewife as well as a mother. I now realise that I achieve a lot every day. I care for my children and encourage them to be the best they can be. When I look at Little G and see what a lovely little girl she is I remind myself that I have helped her be that person. I get to teach her new things every day and watch her develop. I have been there for all of her milestones, first sounds, first words, first steps etc. I find her fascinating! (Check out a day in the life of my toddler here)
Yesterday Baby L rolled for the first time- back to front and front to back! Last week I heard Little G say Granny with a ‘gr’ rather than a ‘d’ for the first time. It actually made me a little sad as she hardly has any ‘baby words’ left. If I was at work every day I wouldn’t be the first to see and hear these things. Hubby misses out but he is fine knowing I have been able to be there for each milestone and I take about a million videos and pictures to send to him at work each day!
I know many mums do not have the choice and have to go back to work to be able to provide for their family and equally many mums need to go back to work for their sanity, to have a sense of self. I admire those mums, I really do. I find it hard enough to balance my housework and family and that is all I have to do. To do a full day at work and then come home and look after everyone and the house takes dedication and hard work. One day I will go back to work and will have to look to those mums for support!
Are you a stay at home mum or do you go to work? Did you find it hard to decide what to do for the best?