Inside: 4 Practical New Year’s Resolutions for Every Mom. Collaborative post.
If you’re a mother, your new year’s resolutions most likely look different than when you were young and single. A list of resolutions that used to focus on self-improvement, such as losing weight and boosting your mental health, has probably since expanded to include becoming a better mom and finding the best ways to express care and affection to your kids.
All the same, breaking down ideals and translating them into actionable goals can be quite challenging. That’s often why it’s easy to end up with resolutions that are hard to keep. Have you had a similar struggle at the beginning of this year, or other years that have transpired since you became a mom?
Some of your old new year’s resolutions may have been abstract or unrealistic, but there’s plenty of time to set achievable goals that will benefit you, your kids, and your partner. Below are four simple, yet impactful resolutions that will help you along your journey toward motherhood and allow you to take better care of one of the most crucial people in your children’s lives—you.
Make Time for Self-Care
Between managing the household, holding down a job, and taking care of the kids, you’re probably wondering how you can find time to squeeze self-care into your packed schedule. How can this resolution be both realistic and attainable?
Perhaps the ultimate solution is a change of mindset. Instead of feeling guilty about looking after your own needs and thinking of them as just another burden to juggle, realize that taking care of yourself is vital to your health and overall well-being—and that it will ultimately help you become a better mom. After all, when you take frequent breaks to do things you enjoy, you’ll be more relaxed, patient, and happy when it comes to caring for your family.
When you understand its importance, you can make time for self-care. Don’t sweat too hard about it, because you may only need a few hours of “me time” every week to fully recharge for the next one, and you don’t necessarily have to do anything grand.
For example, you can go on a 20-minute walk every morning, listen to your favorite music, or journal before bed. You can also treat yourself to a mani-pedi or shop for new and comfortable women’s leggings, leisurewear, skirts, and tops to reinvent your evolving personal style as a mom. Whatever forms of self-care you decide to perform, try to do them consistently and for your pleasure.
Reach Out and Receive Help More Often
As the old proverb goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Don’t hesitate to take your cue from there and let your “village” help you out a little more often. Motherhood can be stressful and overwhelming, and unless you share some of the load, you may end up taxing your physical, mental, and emotional health.
If you feel uncomfortable reaching out for help, try to start small. Ask a neighbor to buy a few items for you when they go to the grocery store. Or, ask your parents or your in-laws if it’s possible for them to stay with your kids for a few hours while you go on a coffee run, get a haircut, or take a much-needed break.
Remember, asking for or receiving help is not a sign of weakness or unwillingness to make sacrifices for your family, but a way for you to manage your many responsibilities and maintain emotional stability. If you’re not in the habit of asking for help very often, let the new year be a good opportunity for you to start.
Be Kinder to Yourself
Moms tend to be kind to practically everyone—except themselves. They will do their best to support their kids and help everyone around them when needed, but they seldom feel the need to give themselves the same level of understanding and courtesy.
Does this resonate with you? If you’re often too hard on yourself or too critical of everything you do, this new year is the best time to promise to love yourself a little more. Here are a few things you can do to practice kindness on yourself:
- Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat your best friend.
- Forgive yourself when you make mistakes, and learn to let go—especially when it comes to things that you ultimately can’t control.
- Make it a habit to say something nice about yourself instead of dwelling on negative self-talk.
- Remind yourself as often as you can that you’re doing your best as a mom, and that to people like your kids and your partner, that’s enough.
Embrace Life’s Imperfections
You may not realize it, but you’re probably operating with a picture of the “perfect” mother inside your head. Perhaps that’s someone who raises well-behaved kids, feeds her family home-cooked meals, keeps the house spotless, and maintains an active social life. Sadly, if you keep aiming for “perfection” as a mom, you’ll probably end up frustrated and disappointed because there’s no such thing.
The best thing you can do to make your family life happier and more satisfying is to let go of the illusion of perfection and embrace life’s imperfections. Free yourself from unnecessary worries and stress and resolve to focus on the essentials. You may not be able to give the perfect effort in every situation, but you’ll be responsible for a lot of good because you’re doing your best as a mom.
For instance, if your children are having fun playing and dancing while making a mess in the living room, why not join in and enjoy the moment instead of focusing on the clutter? You can always clean after they go to bed, and tomorrow will bring another teachable moment to your kids with regard to cleaning up after oneself, but you can’t recreate the delight and wonder of that precious time.
Which of the items above will you add to your new year’s resolutions as a mom? Whether you include one or all of them to your list, always remember that caring for yourself and your well-being should be at the fore of this wonderful journey called motherhood.
When you take care of your needs and treat yourself well, you’ll have more energy, patience, and love to give to your family. If you’ll keep only a handful of resolutions this year, it’s practical to focus on the ones that pertain to being kinder and gentler to yourself.