Inside: A post I wrote a couple of months ago about how I have been feeling lost in motherhood.
I don’t know who I am.
To most people that may sound ridiculous but when I look in the mirror, when I think about what I like or dislike, I just have no idea at all.
I’ve been forgotten.
A few weeks ago I found some vouchers that must have been given for my birthday back in March, before being filed away and forgotten about. Instead of spending them on myself, I did what most mums I know would do, I used them to buy my children new outfits.
Kids clothes are great, aren’t they? No worrying about whether they are the right size (obviously they are 2 sizes too big – thanks for that mindset mum!) or whether they will look cute as they always look cute!
I used up all of the vouchers and spent absolutely nothing on myself.
That got me to thinking, why was I doing that? Why didn’t I go out and treat myself to something nice? I can’t blame lack of time as I had been right there in the shop. I can’t blame lack of money as I could have used the vouchers for me.
So what was it?
The reason mums put themselves last
As soon as your baby is born you do everything in your power to keep them safe and happy.
You lose sleep comforting them late at night.
You forget to brush your hair because they are busy eating 5p’s/ lego/ bits of fluff and you can’t take your eyes off them for a second.
You are shoved to the bottom of the pile because you are a great mum.
But that is no good.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I’ve had so many people tell me this over the last couple of weeks, after I reached out on YouTube and shared how I was feeling. People were telling me that they felt the same and suddenly it all became clear.
I am important too.
I mean it sounds so obvious doesn’t it? Of course we are important! But when was the last time you did something just for you? When was the last time you ran yourself a bath and shut the door? I bet I know the answer…
So how do we find ourselves again?
It isn’t easy, but nothing worth having is ever easy to come by is it? Undoing the years of selfless acts is a tough web to untangle but with a few simple steps, it can be done.
I am going to set you a challenge right here and now – write on a scrap bit of paper something that you want to do to relax. Just one simple thing, be it a bath, a face mask or just a sit down with a cup of tea. Share it in the comments below if you like, to give others some ideas for me time too.
Now make it happen.
Want a bath? Great – run one, shut the door and get in.
Want a face mask? Go order the most luxurious one you can find and when it arrives, put it on!
Want a cup of tea? Go make yourself one and don’t let anyone interrupt you until you have drunk every last warm drop!
By doing just one little thing for yourself, you are taking back precious time for you. From there we can build up to more.
Because you are important.
I still don’t know who I am, but I am determined to give myself more time for me and I am determined to find myself again.
And you will too.