Do you know the thing people say most often when they see me marching along with my brood..
‘Oh you’ve got your work cut out there’
What they are really trying to say is ‘I bet they run rings round you’, ‘I bet they are difficult to control’ etc etc…
I used to nod and smile, say ‘yeh they are a handful, for sure’ but over time it has begun to grate on me. Because actually, they aren’t. People will remark at how well behaved they are when we are out in public but I have always found myself saying ‘Oh they aren’t always like this’ and we nod in agreement. But that is a lie, they are always like it. I am not one to brag, but my kids are actually bloody awesome and if you’ve ever met them, you’ll know they do as they’re told and behave 100% of the time.
I’m tired of pretending otherwise.
It’s like society wants us to fail. Other mum’s like to hear about other mums having a tough time of it, so they can relate and feel better about being in the same situation. Obviously they don’t want others to be struggling but it is just nice not to feel alone. I get that, I really do. But it has got to the point now when I feel like I have to hide how well behaved my own children are in case people hate me for it. Or think I’m pretending everything is rosy.
I can assure you my life isn’t rosy. I have enough washing to set up a launderette, dishes stacked up to the ceiling and I have a pounding headache where I haven’t actually had anything to drink today. I’m sleep deprived and I am grumpy 98% of the time. But my children are not the cause of it (besides the sleep deprivation – the baby is totally taking the blame for that!).
I am not saying my children are perfect, of course they have their flaws. But running rings around me? Difficult to control? Nope, can’t fault them on that. They do as they are told and half the time don’t even need telling.
So, from now on I’m not going to pretend.
I am proud of my children, I’ve raised them to be kind, helpful and respectful of me and of others. So the next time someone says I’ve got my work cut out I’ll tell them this..
‘Actually no, they are pretty damn amazing and I’d have another one if I could!’
Rachel In Real Life
Sunday 12th of May 2019
“But it has got to the point now when I feel like I have to hide how well behaved my own children are in case people hate me for it. Or think I’m pretending everything is rosy.”
Indeed. Harry is polite and well behaved 99% of the time. We’ve had it so easy that even before I was advised against having another child on health grounds, I was worried about having another one in case they weren’t as easy. And I do catch myself saying “He’s not always like this” when we are complimented on his behaviour and manners.
Hannah
Saturday 20th of May 2017
It comes as second nature to me to agree when someone mentions oh I bet they're a handful. It seems easier and just quicker to agree with them.
The other day my neighbour pulled me over and told me how polite the boys and I instantly said oh they're not like that all the time instead of just thanking him.
I don't know why I do it but I totally understand you on this one and think I should start giving the boys the praise they actually need rather than slating them to random strangers!
Xx
Bananapants007
Thursday 18th of May 2017
I hear you. I have one child who is so well behaved it's like it never occurred to her to be any different. But I have another who, if you gave her a rope would hang herself and every living thing within 10 miles of her sneaky dishonest mischievous lair :) Incidentally she's the one who makes us laugh till we cry. Navigating two very different parenting techniques is my daily challenge.
Chris @ heyyouredblue.com
Thursday 18th of May 2017
I'm so glad I'm not alone here!
My kids are the happiest kids I know!
Feels like way to many parents out there are doing everything they can to reign in their kids to the point that they look miserable all of the time!
My son tends to be a little loud when he's excited, but he's happy.
He knows his rights from wrongs and knows to stay close when we are in public, but I'd rather have people give me dirty looks at the grocery store because he's laughing than force him to be a quiet little "Drone"
I love my little squirts!
Thanks for the article, was a very good read!
Katy
Thursday 18th of May 2017
Thank you Chris! Good to know it isn't just me! Mine are a bit loud when excited too - so lovely to hear isn't it? x
Xanthe
Tuesday 16th of May 2017
I think you're missing the point a little. As many others have said before me - it's not the kids themselves that people are commenting on, it's the business that comes with being a parent. I really struggle with mine, but it's not because they are "naughty" - it's because I dislike spending lots of time at home, being away from work, doing housework etc. You say you are a very relaxed parent. I would say that is the difference, not necessarily that your children are "awesome" and other people's aren't. You just have a relaxed attitude to parenting, which is great.
Katy
Tuesday 16th of May 2017
I think I probably didn't explain myself very well to be honest. It is less what people say but how their comments (and sometimes positive comments) make me feel. I feel embarrassed when people comment on how well behaved they all are. I make excuses or tell them that they are a nightmare at home etc etc.. when that is a lie as actually they truly are well behaved. So yes I completely agree that people don't mean anything by their comments - it is more my responses that need attention. x