If you had asked me what I thought about my body 20 years ago I would have told you, as an 11 year old, that I hated my body. I have always been overweight and as a child I was acutely aware of the fact I was ‘different’ to my friends.
By the time I was 15 I became obsessed with my looks. I would stare at myself in the mirror at any opportunity to scrutinise my body. I knew every lump and bump and wished that I could hack away at the fat with a knife. I wished with every ounce of my being that I could be someone else.
I stopped eating.
I look back at photos of myself and I could cry, I see now that I was thin, but at the time I felt as big as a house. The sad thing is, nobody noticed. Nobody noticed and I just got thinner and thinner.
If you ask me today what I think about my body I will tell you straight- I love my body. My body has housed 2 beautiful babies, my body has walked down the aisle to my best friend, my body keeps me alive and I am grateful every day.
I am my daughters’ role model, I am the person they look up to and want to be. I have to teach them, through my own actions, to love their bodies and be proud of who they are. I never want them to look in the mirror and hate themselves.
I will never tell them I am on a diet, I will not even use that word. I know now that fad diets do not work, losing weight is a hard road and it takes dedication to a healthy way of life. I am overweight, I am losing it though exercise and good cooking- they don’t even realise I have made a change. They just see their mummy looking and feeling great- that is the message I want them to see.
Yesterday I read this inspiring post and it made me take a long hard look in the mirror. As I stood there looking at my whole body I made a mental note of 5 positive things that I liked about myself.
1. MY LEGS Without scrutinising them for cellulite I actually have a good pair of legs. They are a nice shape and I like to show them off with a pair of heels.
2. MY COLLARBONE I have sticky out bones and I love them, I always feel a bit sexy when they are on display.
3. MY HAIR So long now, Little G says I am a brunette Rapunzel. It has taken me by surprise as I mostly wear it in a ponytail but I am loving how long it is. I must remember to make more of an effort to style it with my new hair piece!
4. MY EYES I love my eyes, they are particularly green at the moment (they go brown in winter) and wearing my favourite new blue dress really brings out their colour.
5. MY WRISTS Bit of a weird one but I really like my wrists, they are very delicate and I love to wear bracelets to draw attention to them.
I could have quite easily chosen to see the negatives about my body but yesterday was different, I chose to see the positives and it made me happy. I am lucky to have my body, it has given me the two most precious things in my life and I need to start treating it with more respect.
I want you to look in the mirror and see yourself positively- what 5 things do you like? Your body is amazing, start believing it today!