Taking My Life for Granted

The past few weeks have been very hectic, I have been working more days than I would have liked meaning I have left my girls at home with my mum. As much as I am loving having a bit more money and the fact I am less stressed about our finances, I am not enjoying being apart from them for so long.

I have always wanted to be a mum, from an early age I knew that was all I really wanted and when I found out I was pregnant for the first time it was a dream come true. I have now been a mum for almost 4 years and have loved every second and have been lucky enough to be a stay at home mum for the majority of that time.

Since September I have been working 1 day a week as a supply teacher, but in the past couple of months I have slowly increased my days. This is my fault entirely- I cannot say no! When the agency ring I feel bad for the school and say yes- it means extra money for nice things for my family and that is how I justify it.

This week I have realised the impact it has been having on my girls. Both of them have been poorly with very high temperatures, being off their food and generally acting out of character. Little L has not left my side and Little G has been tearful most days. So, when I had to work Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of this week it meant leaving my poorly babies when they needed me the most. I didn’t need to work, I chose the needs of a school over the needs of my children.

Of course I am lucky that my mum is the one to take care of them, she is the next best thing to mummy (sorry daddy!) but that doesn’t make me feel any better. My primary job is being their mother and this week I failed them completely. I should have put them first- I see that now.

Learning lessons

The one good thing to come out of it all is the fact I now realise how much I have been taking my life for granted. I am lucky that I get to choose my days and so I need to try and learn to say no, put my girls first and make better use of the days that I am home. I need to make sure that when I am at home I give them my full attention, filling those days with happy memories to make up for those days when I cannot be there to give them cuddles.

With that in mind, here are my goals for this week:

♥ Bake chocolate brownies with the girls, we have the ingredients and just need to dive in and get them done!

♥ We are off to the zoo on Tuesday, meeting up with some lovely blogger friends. I want to enjoy the day, go at the girls’ pace and make memories.

♥ Little G’s favourite thing to do is play with her Brio train track, I want to get down to her level and really get involved in her games.

♥ Both of them love drawing, I need to buy some more crayons for Little L – the big chunky kind so she can get involved more.

♥ Go to the park when it is a sunny day. We are so lucky to live close to a great park but we don’t go there often enough. Time to get off the sofa and get out of the house!

How do you make the most of your days?