Real Mums – Lil’s Mirror

I started this feature to celebrate real mums. Mums come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes we can feel alone, we can feel as though we are the only ones struggling to keep on top of things. I want to lift the lid on motherhood so we can all feel a part of sisterhood, to feel proud about our own achievements and know that we are doing the best we can!

Without further a do let me hand over to Nicky!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

I’m a 35 year old coffee addict currently living in Nottingham with my long suffering fella and our brand new baby boy Noah.

Describe a typical day in your life

6-7.30 – bleary eyed bum change and breakfast for Noah, mummy isn’t allowed breakfast just yet.

8-10 – playtime aka destroy the living room.  If I’m lucky Noah will be content to let me have some breakfast and get dressed.  Getting dressed in the time it takes the cot mobile to play “you are my sunshine” is a challenge I’ve almost got nailed.

10 -5  will be one of the following:

♦ Going to a baby group or 2 which generally involves a bunch of sleep deprived parents manically reciting incy wincy spider whilst picking sick/milk/poo out of their hair, the glamour!
♦ Coffee / lunch with a mummy friend to coo over each other’s babies and discuss the latest developments in the poo department, who knew it was such a hot topic!
♦ Housework, Noah might be kind and let me do some housework whilst he has a nap. If not it’s on with the sling so I can get the hoovering done.

If none of the above then I’m pinned to the sofa by a whingy baby zoning out to daytime TVs finest.  In the last week alone we’ve been treated to the delights of vagina facials and a beginners guide to bondage courtesy of This Morning.  Daddy is questioning the educational value of this for Noah so the baby sensory videos go on around ten to five just before he gets home ;).

5 – 8.30 – Daddy comes home and the boys have some man time, farting, burping…all that good stuff.  Then it’s bath time which is either full of super beautiful smiles or screaming bloody murder, there is no in-between.  Daddy then gives Noah his tea and puts himto bed, all done by 8.30pm.  We are very lucky that Noah sleeps well at night so I’m usually upjust once with him for a change and feed around 3 or 4am.

At 9 weeks we are just beginning to get into a rough routine so I can actually get dressed most days and have at least one meal before 8pm which rarely happened in the early weeks!

What is the best thing about being a mum?

The smiles, the magical, amazing, heart achingly perfect smiles.  Noah has been smiling for 5 weeks now and I still find myself having a little happy cry on a daily basis over the gorgeous smiles my baby boy gives me.

What have you found hardest about motherhood?

The first couple of weeks were the hardest of my life and hit me like a train, physically, mentally and emotionally.  I had a traumatic birth which made things very difficult for the first few days and had a knock on effect for the following few weeks. Absolutely nothing and no one can prepare you for parenthood, it’s so overwhelming, the responsibility is huge and there is no manual, you just have to make it up as you go along! I left my parenting ideals at the hospital door, my idea of what kind of mother I would be was replaced by the need to just survive from one day to the next and doing whatever it took to achieve that.

We are blessed that we have Noah with us as things could have turned out very differently and remembering that really does help me get through the tough times when I’m exhausted and feel at my wits end!

How has your body changed?

My tummy now looks like a firework display and it wobbles away completely independently of the rest of my body.  I thought it would bother me far more than it does to be honest.  It’s crap that my clothes don’t fit like they used to and that I look like a string of sausages in anything remotely figure hugging but I no longer care so much about looking in the mirror, I spend all of my time now staring at my perfect little boy!  I do miss my bump and feel far more sad for that than for the roadmap of stretch marks that I’ve been left with.   I grew a human in me and pushed him out, I was never going to be the same after that! I think that a little further down the line it may begin to bother me a little more but for now I’ve got the greatest distraction in the world.

Do you wear makeup? If so, what does your routine look like? 

It’s always a race against time, Noah will only stand about 3 rounds of twinkle twinkle before he’s decided that mummy has had plenty of time to sort her face out and should stop singing and do something more entertaining. So it’s generally a splatter of foundation, fill in my eyebrows, a quick slick of eyeliner, some mascara and that will have to do.  If I get any extra time I will add a little highlighter and eyeshadow, I never need blusher these daysas I’m almost always a shade of beetroot from rushing around being late for one thing or another!

What’s in your handbag? 

Purse, keys, phone, lip balm, mini body spray, sunglasses, dummies, hand sanitiser, various toys and at least 1 muslin.

What is your relationship with housework?

I used to be relatively clean and tidy.. now I just strive for clean.  I sat on the sofa the other day and spied a satsuma under the armchair, god knows how long it had been there!

How do you relax?

Drink wine, eat chocolate, repeat.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever been given?

There are 2 pieces of advice Ive been given which have really made all the difference.

1.  Happy mummy equals happy baby so do whatever it takes to achieve that.  Don’t sacrifice your mental health to meet the ideals or expectations that society places on you as a mother, don’t beat yourself up, it’s just not worth it.

2.  Sod what everyone else thinks!  People can be very judgemental and will always have an opinion on your parenting choices, sometimes it’s helpful to get different views but that doesn’t mean you have to do anything with them!  You know yourself and your baby better than anyone so go with your instincts and remember that you don’t have to justify your choices… people can mind their own sodding business!

For any new mums out there, what would you like to tell them?

The first 6 weeks are going to be hard going but it will get better, it will feel like it will never get better but it will and when it gets good, it gets really good 🙂

What makes you happy?

My son in the arms of his father, end of.

And finally, complete this sentence:

I am a great mum because….. I had the best teacher.  My mum is amazing and has taught me more than she can ever imagine.

I love that you mention your mum right there at the end, you are the first person to do so and it is just so lovely. My mum is my parenting role model too so I know exactly how you feel. 

If you want to find out more about Nicky and her beautiful family then head over to her blog: Lil’s Mirror

She is also on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest so go say hi!