Real Mums #03 – WaffleMama

I have started this feature to celebrate real mums. Mums come in all shapes and sizes but sometimes we can feel alone, we can feel as though we are the only ones struggling to keep on top of things. I want to lift the lid on motherhood so we can all feel a part of sisterhood, to feel proud about our own achievements and know that we are doing the best we can!

Without further a do let me hand over to Laura!

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family.

My real name is Laura, I go by the name Waffle Mama because I talk too much. My family call me Larry or Larry-baldy (no hair until I was two, or seven or fifteen depending on who you talk to). My husband calls me babe.  I’m mummy to 4 month old Sophie who I nickname S or Egg in my blog posts and her big brother Alfie AKA A or Bean, who usually calls me Mummy but occasionally babe like his dad!
We have three cats and a tiny dog. I meant to buy a Cocker-poo but got a Cava-poo and realised my mistake when she didn’t grow any bigger than a small cat, the cats are quite happy with this arrangement though and like to show her whose boss. We have two axolotls called Steve and Black-Steve (named by my son) we desperately tried to change it but he just would not have it so it’s usually just Steve and other Steve, they eat worms that me and my son buy from the fishing tackle shop every Tuesday, for some reason he finds this very exciting – maybe the buffet of maggots on display? And the fact we go to the pet shop afterwards that’s full of snakes and has a raccoon and rescued a baby fox.
I work in a supermarket now as it fits around babies and I don’t have to pay childcare. Its mind numbing and boring but goes quickly, has many perks, it’s fun and probably the best my mush of a brain can cope with at the moment so suits me fine!
I am very creative and have been running my own sock monkey business, but at the moment I prefer drawing. I fuel my lack of imagination and brain by asking my son what he would like me to draw. He comes out with things such as ‘A cat wearing numbers’ and I draw it – simples. I don’t get much free time at the moment with Egg being so small but if I do I can be found being creative mainly, blogging or shopping.  I am a shopaholic and proud. I just lack the funds to make it a true profession!
I’m new to blogging and have a million posts in draft form and will publish them gradually.
I’m currently trying to lose weight and get healthy, as much for my family as for me and it feels good. I never felt better than when I was pregnant though, most people seem to hate it but I love it. It’s the only time I have felt really like a woman and attractive and actually liked the shape of my body, even after gaining nearly 5 stone!
I’ve been with my husband twelve years and we met at university on the same course and made animations together which I just wish we had stuck with, they were so much fun. We got married in 2010 and moved to Lincolnshire, the hub of nothing, as fun and opportunistic for creative people as a dead weasel where everyone calls you duck. It’s nice but we both have a craving for a big adventure someday.

Describe a typical day in your life

A typical day for me is at approximately  6am I get Egg back down after her feed, the second my head hits back down on the pillow the Beans door opens and I hear “Is it mornin?”. As much as we have tried to say no, he’s not fooled and will check out his window behind his black out blind, and black out curtains! At the moment my husband usually goes and sees to Bean for half an hour while I fall into the best sleep I’ve had all night long, then get up to make our breakfast.
Unless we are going out, Egg will then sleep until ten ish, she’s the most chilled out baby ever! Downstairs for brekky, feed the gaggle of animals and maybe fill the dishwasher. We go to at least one play group or sensory play a day and Bean has pre-school just once a week at the moment  which gives me my three hours alone with my egg for some girly time.  Egg usually spends that time asleep while we go to weight watchers, the library and Primark.
We have a few baby friends who occasionally have play dates with and a big arboretum two streets away with heaps of room to walk, run, a big pond and bridge with ducks to feed and a giant concrete lion statue. I love doing stuff at home with them both, Eggs favourite at the moment is one of those crinkly survival blankets that I got from the camping shop, she can lay on it and squiggle and make loads of noise, everything else goes in her mouth. Beans favourites are drawing, painting and Duplo, he has the shortest attention span ever so we don’t tend to do much messy play as we save that for the children’s centre down the road, I think they enjoy cleaning it up more than I do, or they get paid for it at least.
Otherwise it’s just feeding the troops, writing the odd draft blog on my phone and attempting to sort my bomb wreck of a house. When Beans in bed, Egg tends to have a bounce in her jumperoo, feed and then snooze. Once she’s asleep I will do something for me usually like my drawing, then a hot bath and bed or if I’m lucky enough to have the energy I will treat myself to a hair wash and dry! I have the biggest frizz ball of hair that is not quick to sort so I tend to do it once or twice a week. Usually though we just spend the evening catching up with stuff I wish I had done in the day!

This week however has mainly consisted of snot, vomit, poop, more poop, more sick and dribble, not all from me.

What is the best thing about being a mum?

My favourite thing about being a mum is having someone love me for me, my husband does too but it’s a different and totally 100% love from my babies and seeing someone so happy to see you each and every morning is just amazing. It’s really given me purpose in my life which without sounding too dramatic I’ve never felt I had before.

What have you found hardest about motherhood?

The hardest thing about motherhood for me is knowing all the horrible things that happen in the world, how awful people can be, how hard life can be and how sad things and people can make you. And now knowing that my gorgeous lovely happy positive amazing little people will some day have to learn this too and there is very little I can do to protect them from most of it. I feel so strongly about this it makes me sad, a lot. I worry they will get bullied, feel depressed, get hurt mentally or physically, made to feel sad and all those things. I am a total worrier and have always suffered from anxiety so I think that really doesn’t help when I’ve been blessed with two things so precious. Bean is growing up to be such a lovely confident boy I just really hope he is allowed to carry on like that and nobody ever brings him down.

How has your body changed?

I’ve always been big but I got much bigger with my first pregnancy, almost 5 stone heavier in fact so I really changed. I always had a flat tummy whatever my size so I think my new baggy tummy is the thing that’s taking the most getting used to, I don’t have nice stretchy skin so it does just look like a deflated balloon. It doesn’t really bother me though, honestly! I’m not that fussed on looks anymore, I like to look nice obviously but things like my tummy that were made by my babies, how can I complain about that! I am noticing my old shape reappearing a bit though now I am losing weight and my bum shelf is shrinking!

Do you wear makeup? If so, what does your routine look like? 

Yes I do! Have you seen me without it? Think Phil Mitchell but less pretty, with Gordon Ramsey’s wrinkles and a cod mouth! My friend once said ‘If you didn’t wear makeup you’d just be a white circle’. This is actually quite correct, I am very pale, my lips are pale and I have pale hair. I’m basically the moon, with fewer fans.
So… I clean and moisturise my face using L’Oreal Micellar water and Nivea day cream. I usually do that before bed and just wipe again with a baby wipe in the morning, I’m a bit lazy like that. I use Maxfactor foundation and powder and have since I was a teenager. The powder my mum and Nanna used in the same colour and brand and the smell of it is totally nostalgic for me. I use pencil eyeliner on my top lid and mascara by Rimmel, though I think I am allergic I keep buying it. If I had the money I would by the ‘They’re real?’ Mascara by Benefit, its amazing!  Blusher by anybody, I’m yet to find a good one and then my absolute favourite make up item, my Maybelline 24 hour stay lipstick in bright red! I wear red lipstick every day except if I’m really down or feeling poorly, it’s the lip equivalent of a mood ring, if I have nude lips – avoid at all costs, lip balm, then I’m poorly. I do look a bit glammed up I suppose just to go to playgroups but why not, it’s the closest thing I get to a night out right now.
I couldn’t stomach wearing perfume with my first pregnancy or after I had him but this time round I love it and my all-time favourite is ‘Eternity’ by Calvin Klein. It brings back so many memories, first date with hubby, clubbing with friends getting perfume from the toilet lady on my birthday! I don’t go out any more really but I when I do I just go a bit heavier on the eye liner and shade in some eyebrows a bit, my brows are a bit of a disaster area some days. I go from Mr Bean to broad bean from one day to the next, and I’ve not had them waxed for four years, lucky I’m fair haired or id look like a yeti.

What’s in your handbag? 

My handbag is another disaster area, a mini representation of my house if you like. I have the purse, phone, a powder puff, my inhaler (in case I get claustrophobic and panic about air – yep I’m a fool). Tonnes of receipts rubbish because I could never bring myself to litter and am not always by a bin. A mini Sophie giraffe, the one with handles for the egg to have a chew on. A lipstick that’s empty but been in there a few years, some tissues and a bottle of anti-bacterial gel that maybe if I used a bit more religiously then we wouldn’t catch all these kid germs!

What is your relationship with housework?

If housework was a person I would punch it straight in the face, roll it in carpet and chuck it in the river. In my head I am OCD, I have mental lists of millions of things that need doing but in reality just doing the bare essentials I find hard work. Bean was a really difficult clingy baby so I never really did much at all until my husband came home to take over baby duties and I could have a quick whip round. I am much better now but Bean is still glued to me everywhere I go and bless him, he ‘helps’ with everything so I still don’t get too much done. We will have a weekend where we sort the house top to bottom and every room is totally blissful then a few days later we look like we’ve been burgled in an earth quake. At the moment every room in the house is messy, we need a huge clear out and I literally don’t know where to start. Egg and Bean have been taking it in turns to be ill since the end of October and it’s just got me behind with everything and I am really missing not being able to hang the washing outside! So to sum up, our relationship is rocky and I would even pay a (cleaning) lady for her services behind housework’s back I could!

How do you relax?

I think I’ve covered most my ‘me time’ activities already but mainly if I had the choice at the moment I’d be writing blog posts or drawing my pictures! Most days escaping to do the dishwasher or clean the bathroom feels like a treat.

What’s the best parenting advice you have ever been given?

Honestly the best thing anyone can tell you is to not listen to other people when they tell you what you should be doing. First time round I really let it get to me, being told not to breast feed as maybe Bean wold prefer a bottle, let him cry it out, don’t pick him up etc etc. Just do what you want to do, it’s your baby!

For any new mums out there, what would you like to tell them?

I’d like to tell new mums to chill out and enjoy every second with your baby; they grow up quicker than you could ever imagine  It’s scary, terrifying how fast it happens. Those tears in the night won’t last long, so enjoy the cuddles. So you have a clingy baby? Lucky you, someone loves you that much they want to be physically attached to you, it won’t last long, make the most of it! Take a million pictures, write everything down (you will forget). And my biggest piece of advice? Don’t let anybody tell you what to do and if people make you feel bad, don’t have anything to do with them regardless of who you are. This time is so precious and do not let anybody ruin it for you.

What makes you happy?

The thing that makes me happy apart from stuff like being together as a family etc. is photographs. I’ve always loved photographs and I’m a little obsessed, I’ve easily taken ten pictures every single day since Bean was born, I will have to make a time lapse video some time to see how he has changed.  I look back on pictures all the time and they just make me so happy, all that terrifies me though is losing them so I back them up and up as much as I can but still need more discs and extra portable hard drives! When people say a picture paints a thousand words its true. I don’t need to pay hundreds to a photographer and in fact my favourite photos are usually really crap phone pictures and bad quality. Day one of Beans life and he’s wearing a little bobble hat laid on my lap, my best picture in the world.

And finally, complete this sentence:

I am a great mum because….. I am a great mum because I try every day to make my babies happy, have fun and feel good about themselves. I don’t feel like I’ve had to sacrifice a thing, my life was nothing before in comparison and now we are a family, I am totally blessed. I’ve felt guilty I couldn’t afford nursery, new toys and clothes but then I see three year old Bean who (although I may be a little biased) is genuinely the most amazing kid and really stands out, everybody loves him and he is a true reflection on me as a mother so I couldn’t possibly be bad!

Thank you so much Laura! I absolutely agree with the worrying thing. I avoid watching the news for the very same reason. I don’t want to know about the awful things that happen in the world 🙁

Find out more about Laura and her world over at her blog, Waffle Mama or go say hi on Twitter or Facebook. She is also on Instagram if you want to follow her!  

 If you would like to take part in my Real Mums series then email me at katy@whatkatysaid.com x