Motherhood: Feeling A Little Overwhelmed

Today I feel a little overwhelmed.

The girls are happily playing upstairs and I can hear them chattering away together as they play game after game. They’ve grown so close over the last year, becoming the very best of friends, something that I really wanted for Little G when I gave her a sibling. I wasn’t at all close to my sister growing up as there was such a huge age gap, 8 years meant we were always at different stages in life. So, with mine being close it really does melt my heart.

It isn’t often that I pick up my laptop and write a post in the day. If you saw our ‘day in the life’ video the other day you’d have seen that I might check my emails and do a bit of blogmin for half an hour but that is is. Post writing normally comes once the girls are in bed, I never want to waste time working while they are awake, that time is too precious. Today though, after we had been upstairs doing some tidying, they said they wanted to stay up and play on their own. 

I came downstairs to put on a load of washing and tidy up a few bits in the living room. That is when it hit me. I am 5 months pregnant, there isn’t much time to go now before I will have a newborn baby to look after. The girls will still play together, nothing much will change there, but I won’t be able to snatch 5 minutes to put a wash on, I won’t be able to pick up toys. More than that, the time I now spend playing with them will be less too. 

Being pregnant gives you a taste of what it is to have a newborn as you are so bloody tired all the time. You can’t play with your kids or do normal daily activities with the same energy, all you really want to do is lie on the sofa and take a nap. I am trying my best to keep on top of things, to remember to put a wash on, to put away pile after pile of clothes. I am trying to keep normal activities with the girls as routine as possible, but I am struggling. 

Today, as I sat on the floor and put toy trains back into their tub for the 10th time, I burst into tears. I don’t actually know how I am going to manage everything and look after a newborn baby. I know housework doesn’t matter and believe me, my house is no palace, but I don’t want to live in a pit. The girls are like whirlwinds, wreaking havoc wherever they go and produce enough washing to keep me busy until the end of time. With a newborn to care for I am just not sure how I am going to manage it all, I don’t think I am going to manage. 

I knew it would be tough, a new baby is never easy, but it is only today that it is actually sinking in. It is only today that I have truly realised that this family is about to change, to grow by a whole human being – it is finally feeling real. I keep walking past the bedroom that will soon be a nursery and I am just a little bit frightened. I don’t even know what of but I have had to shut the door, I am not mentally ready for this yet. Just not yet.

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Comments 22

  1. Oh Katy, I so relate to this feeling! During my pregnancy with Sailor I think I cried most days for the last 3 months of it because I just could not handle how difficult simple tasks suddenly were and I so wanted to fast forward to the end but I also knew that life with a newborn would bring so many new challenges and I just wasn’t sure I was up to it.

    I’m not going to lie to you, it IS tough with 3 – a lot tougher than I probably imagined but do you know what? You do cope. Because …well…you just do! There’s not really any other option. The tasks still get done. Our house is far from how I’d like it to look in an ideal world, but I keep it at an acceptable level of clean and tidy. Toys go away. Hoovering and polishing gets done. And I still play with the children. And I still keep up the blog.

    The thing is…there are just a few more interruptions to these tasks now, and they take a bit longer and sometimes they’re carried out with a baby strapped onto me (And maybe you will have an easier baby, I have one with reflux who refuses to sleep…ever!) – but they get done. It all gets done. And when you start to see the bond appear between the children, and those first smiles start – It starts to feel less difficult and more rewarding, I promise.

    You’ll be amazing. You’ve totally got this.

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      When I read your post at the beginning of the year I knew I was pregnant already and at the time I thought, you know it will all be ok, but as time gets closer I can totally understand why you felt so helpless towards the end. You are right, things like toys going away etc.. will have to be done in phases and I am definitely getting a carrier!! Thank you so much for a lovely comment, really means a lot xxx

  2. Oh sweetheart you’re being very hard on yourself. The truth is that you know how to do all of this because you’ve done it before when the girls were littler, you’ll find it’s a skill set you never truly lost! And this time you have two lovely big girl helpers who can play with each other while you take care of the baby, that’s the gift of siblings! Take care of yourself, and take that nap!!

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      I look at your family hun and it makes me know it will be ok, your girls are SO adorable with Pip and I know mine will be the same. Still, I am such a worrier you know? xx

  3. Sounds exactly like me, only i’m not pregnant it hit me how my tiny babies are going to be 3 and 6 in June. You will know what to do even though it feels so over whelming at the moment. You darling daughters will love being a big sister for the first and second time. Of courses there will be adjustment but over all you have 3 amazing gifts, that i’m sure are a true testament to what an amazing mum you are. xx

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  4. Ah lovely I just wanted to comment and say I feel exactly the same as you. I am so nervous about the idea of three children, of the fact that life is a little bit easier now than it used to be. But I can promise you (and me) that it will be 100% worth it. xx

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      Thanks lovely, it is so frightening isn’t it? I know deep down it will all work out but there is still an element of panic lurking xx

  5. Oh I want to give you a big big hug! Well I don’t have 3 kids but I really think you will adjust so much better than you expect and do remember that as well as being able to play together, your beautiful girls will want to ‘help’ you out with the new baby too – they’ll be able to help with tidying up and changing nappies and any other chores can just wait, can’t they. Everything is going to be ok – more than ok, it’s going to be brilliant! x x

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  6. Yes i agree, you will cope…honestly and it gets easier as they get older and baby sleeps longer stretches. A baby carrier is a must! Mine has been a godsend. Also don’t worry if the girls watch a bit more tv than they usually do whilst you find your feet, it won’t hurt. x

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  7. Oh Katy bless you lovely, I can relate. I felt totally overwhelmed when pregnant with Rose, wondering how I was going to juggle the two older ones and all the mess and driving around and all the hubby’s paperwork I honestly felt like I might have s nervous breakdown at one point! BUT you have to learn to delegate and accept help, and no one wants to live in a pit but as long as you have clean (ish) clothes to wear and clean plates to eat off for a couple of months everything else can wait. It is tough but the benefits far out weigh the struggle and that will all be clear as soon as baby arrives. Lots of love xxxx

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  8. Oh lovely I think you’re being really tough on yourself! I have friends with two or more kids and they tell me that while it’s all a bit chaotic at the beginning everything sorts itself out really quickly and they also found that things got much easier as their kids got older. The key is to accept help when its offered.

    Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better now and are feeling a lot more positive after reading the brilliant comments everyone else have written. Vx

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      I think that is going to be the problem- having people offer in the first place. I am just going to hibernate until the spring haha! xx

  9. You will cope because you are Katy and there is NOTHING you cannot do, I know that for sure. You are a fab mum and another one or another ten and you would just take it in your stride! xxxx

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  10. You will adapt Katy! It all takes time, low expectations and a lot of patience. You’re a lovely mum and that’s all we can be to our children. Looking after children is hard no matter how many you have. I wish I’d written more heartfelt posts like this when I started my blog, it’s so important to be real and not cover up how are really are. Your post will inspire another mother that they are not alone in their feelings. In the meantime, throw all the washing on an economy wash unless it’s badly stained, ours takes 30 mins and is perfectly adequate! Gets twice as much done 🙂 much love Lizzie xo

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  11. I’m not going to lie to you, I’ve found life after number three came along hard, and some days I think I can’t do it and some days I feel like I’m completely rocking it, but every day the children are healthy and happy and making me smile and that’s the main thing. Ernie is 4 months now and I definitely feel like we’ve hit a turning point and things are starting to get easier. Babywearing is essential for the first few months, I couldn’t have coped without it, but now I can put him down and do stuff sometimes during the day, and he’s going down in his cot when the girls go to bed so we’re getting our evenings back…. It’s such a short amount of time that they are little for, when you think about it. That’s just what I reminding myself of all the time, it won’t be like this forever, this too shall pass X

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      That is the thing, I can’t believe mine are 4 and 2 already – I barely remember those early days. I will definitely be getting a wrap or sling of some sort! x

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